Praise for TLC at Work
“TLC at Work brings the MBTI
®
tool to life. Understanding how behavior
patterns shape performance can help you, as a manager or a performer,
begin to move beyond labels to bring out the best in yourself and others
while respecting the diversity around you.”
Darnell Lattal, Ph.D., president,Aubrey Daniels International
“TLC at Work uses personality type within a competency framework to
help coaches define and develop measurable behaviors. This valuable
resource shows professional coaches how to create a practical plan
for developing competencies in themselves and others.”
Laura Whitworth, cofounder,The Coaches Training Institute;
coauthor,Co-Active Coaching
“Bravo! I’m convinced the secret to success is one of tailor fitting
coaching and development programs based on individual type.
Donna Dunning has captured this winning strategy by utilizing
personality type.”
Thomas F.Duncan III,manager, human resources, ConocoPhillips;
principal consultant,DuncanResearch.com

TLC at Work

at Work
Training, Leading, Coaching
DONNA DUNNING
All Types
for
Star Performance
Davies-Black Publishing

Palo Alto, California
Published by Davies-Black Publishing, a division of CPP, Inc., 3803 East Bayshore Road,
Palo Alto, CA 94303; 800-624-1765.
Special discounts on bulk quantities of Davies-Black books are available to corporations, pro-
fessional associations, and other organizations. For details, contact the Director of Marketing
and Sales at Davies-Black Publishing: 650-691-9123; fax 650-623-9271.
Copyright © 2004 by Davies-Black Publishing, a division of CPP, Inc. All rights reserved. No
part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, with-
out written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in
critical articles or reviews.
Davies-Black and colophon are registered trademarks of CPP, Inc. Myers-Briggs Type Indi-
cator, MBTI, and Introduction to Type are trademarks or registered trademarks of the Myers-
Briggs Type Indicator Trust in the United States and other countries.
Visit the Davies-Black Publishing web site at www.daviesblack.com.
08 07 06 05 04 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Printed in the United States of America
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Dunning, Donna
TLC at work : training, leading, coaching all types for star performance /
Donna Dunning.— 1st ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-89106-192-4 (pbk.)
1. Career development. 2. Leadership. 3. Motivation (Psychology) I. Title.
HF5549.5.C35D86 2004
658.3´124—dc22
2003028303
FIRST EDITION
First printing 2004

vii
To everyone who is striving to enhance
the development of others

Contents
xi Introduction
xvii Acknowledgments
xix About the Author
Part 1: Competencies for Developing Others
Chapter 1: Building Relationships
Establish Credibility, Rapport, and Trust . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Acknowledge, Appreciate, and Accommodate
Individual Differences
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Quick Tips for Building Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48
Chapter 2: Facilitating Development
Introducing the Development Plan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
Review the Steps for Facilitating Development . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
Identify Outcomes, Roadblocks, and Strategies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56
Carry Out the Plan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
Quick Tips for Facilitating Development . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
Part 2:Workplace Competencies
Chapter 3: Self-Responsibility
Shows Up Ready and Willing to Work . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
Takes Ownership . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107
Quick Tips for Developing Self-Responsibility . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116
TLC for All Types: Self-Responsibility . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117
ix
TLC at Work
x

Chaper 4: Communication
Listens Carefully . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125
Shares Information Effectively . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138
Quick Tips for Developing Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
155
TLC for All Types: Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
156
Chapter 5: Mindfulness
Knows How to Learn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 164
Knows How to Apply Thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 184
Quick Tips for Developing Mindfulness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 199
TLC for All Types: Mindfulness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 200
Chapter 6: Productivity
Focuses on Obtaining Results . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 206
Achieves Exceptional Results . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 222
Quick Tips for Developing Productivity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 232
TLC for All Types: Productivity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 232
Chapter 7: Proactivity
Anticipates and Adjusts to Change . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 241
Fulfills Career and Life Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
254
Quick Tips for Developing Proactivity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 268
TLC for All Types: Proactivity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 269
277 Summary of the Five Workplace Competencies
279 References
281 Index
Introduction
TLC at Work presents a practical approach for developing workplace com-
petencies. It is designed as a resource for trainers, leaders, coaches, and
human resources professionals, and for people who recognize a need to

build their performance at work. You can use this book to define, describe,
and clarify specific areas of performance key to workplace success. You
will learn an effective process for assessing performance gaps and facili-
tating development in others or in yourself.
In Part One of the book, I provide the groundwork for establishing
working relationships and facilitating development of people in the work-
place. These are the two competencies people in developmental roles
must master to be effective helpers. I call them the TLC competencies (for
“training, leading, and coaching,” of course), and present them in the con-
text of specific behaviors and practical development tips designed to be
useful to anyone in a helping role.
In Part Two, I define five basic workplace competencies, describing spe-
cific, measurable behaviors necessary for high performance. In each chap-
ter, you’ll find practical tips and strategies to facilitate the development of
one of these five competencies—a combination of how-to and what-to-
develop that will give you all the tools you need. At the end, a closing
summary captures the key points for ready reference.
You may be working in or with an organization that uses a compe-
tency model for human resources functions such as recruiting, evaluating
performance, compensation, and learning based on a different list of com-
petencies. Many comprehensive lists—including literally hundreds of spe-
cific competencies arranged in countless configurations and levels—have
been published, and many organizations have created customized sys-
tems to identify, measure, and develop competencies. You can still use this
book, as it does not compete with established competency systems. Its
intent is to supplement rather than replace.
My focus here is on the basic competencies that form a universal
starting point. No one can function within even the simplest competency-
and performance-based development model without the ability to take
xi

TLC at Work
xii
TLC at Work
xii
personal responsibility, communicate effectively, learn and think, achieve
results, and plan ahead.
As an analogy, compare your existing competency-based performance
system to a typical high school or university curriculum, which shows
what students need to know and do to pass and therefore qualify to move
to another level. This book, in contrast, can be compared to the basic ele-
mentary school curriculum—the skills in arithmetic, reading, writing,
spelling, and learning that the students were expected to have developed
before high school. Without these basic skills, it is difficult to learn and
perform well in any advanced course.
The competencies described in this book are as important to individ-
ual development as basic literacy, numeracy, and study skills are to aca-
demic success. Once students know how to read, write, calculate, and
learn, they can succeed in a wide variety of courses. Likewise, once peo-
ple demonstrate the competencies in this book, they will be able to work
independently and effectively. If they have performance gaps, they will
know how to develop themselves and how to choose what they need to
work on. The basic competencies provide an approach that allows people
to develop and succeed in a wide range of work roles.
This book can help those in both traditional and nontraditional types
of work. These days many people find themselves working without the
resources of an organization to facilitate their development. If you are in
this situation, you may need to act as your own development coach. This
can be a difficult process, since self-development requires awareness
facilitated by feedback. Self-development may require you to challenge
your assumptions and change habitual behaviors. If you are working

through this process on your own, you may well find that the insights pro-
vided here will be enough to go on with. However, recruiting a supportive
individual to work with you in the process may still prove helpful. Many
private coaches work with individuals inside and outside organizations to
help them develop their potential.
In recognition of the changing nature of the workforce, I have tried to
minimize the use of terminology reflecting the traditional employment
relationship. For example, I generally refer to the person being helped as
a worker, individual, or client rather than as an employee. This frames the
book as a twenty-first-century resource, one that reflects current realities
and is inclusive for all types of workers, and that looks toward the new
paradigm of work as opposed to the nineteenth- and twentieth-century
concept of jobs.
Introduction
xiii
A ROAD MAP FOR THE BOOK
Part One introduces the TLC competencies that enable people in helping
roles to build relationships and enhance development. It lays the ground-
work for establishing a working relationship built on mutual respect.
Chapter 1 begins by defining and describing the essential step of
establishing credibility and trust. It contains information to help build a
working relationship with clients. No one-size-fits-all development pro-
gram is likely to work well every time. This is a challenge for human
resources professionals, trainers, leaders, and coaches. As organizations
strive to maintain a competitive advantage, it is especially important for
those in development roles to customize their strategies to accommodate
individual differences. To be effective in their work, people in development
roles must understand and coach different clients in different ways.
Because of the importance of individual differences, Chapter 1 also
contains a comprehensive guide focused on personality type to help you

understand your individual style and accommodate the style of others. This
book focuses on personality type as measured by the Myers-Briggs Type
Indicator
®
(MBTI
®
) assessment, which has in-depth, empirical data and
support materials. Many people find the MBTI language somewhat
abstract, so—to make the theory more accessible—the book incorporates
a jargon-free, user-friendly way to understand, share, and apply personal-
ity type concepts.
Chapter 2 presents a practical approach to facilitating development. It
describes ways to help others by identifying specific development out-
comes, roadblocks, and strategies, and it also shows you how to create,
coach, and monitor an effective development plan.
Part Two addresses the basic question, What competencies do
twenty-first-century workers need?
Five workplace competencies are key to success in all types of work.
By using observable and measurable behaviors, the chapters in Part Two
provide a clear picture of what effective individual performance looks like.
Development then becomes a concrete process focused on accomplishing
a specific, positive outcome to increase individual effectiveness. This
process is practical rather than theoretical and is designed to make spe-
cific, concrete interventions to improve performance in an observable,
measurable way. When people demonstrate the five competencies
described here, they will be self-directed, mindful, and able to communi-
cate, learn, and adapt.
TLC at Work
xiv
Workplace Competency 1: Self-Responsibility

Chapter 3 introduces the basic competency of self-responsibility. That is,
effective workers are personally accountable and responsible for the con-
sequences of their actions. People who take responsibility for their actions
and the resulting consequences will be able to direct themselves, adjust
their behavior, and take initiative. Self-responsible workers will show up
ready and willing to work and will take ownership of their successes and
mistakes. This allows them to adjust and improve their performance.
When people are ready and willing to work, they will be realistically opti-
mistic, energetic, and alert and will work independently toward their
goals. When people take ownership of the results of their work, they will
demonstrate personal accountability and maximize their personal assets.
Workplace Competency 2: Communication
Chapter 4 underscores the basic truths that effective communication is as
essential to success at work as everywhere else in life and that effective
communicators listen carefully. People who listen carefully encourage
others to express differing perspectives. They clarify and act on communi-
cations and incorporate feedback. Effective communicators are also able
to share information in a clear, focused manner. They customize their
messages, give useful, positive, and constructive feedback, and resolve
issues before they spiral into problems.
Workplace Competency 3: Mindfulness
Chapter 5 takes up the complex topic of mindfulness. Mindfulness
involves awareness of, reflection on, and adjustment of behaviors and
strategies. Workers who are mindful think about and evaluate what they
are learning and doing. Mindful workers know how to learn and are able
to access and use new information. They critique sources of information
and transfer what they learn to new situations. Mindful workers system-
atically solve problems and make informed decisions. They are aware of
different modes of thinking and they consciously switch thinking modes
when it is appropriate to do so.

Workplace Competency 4: Productivity
Chapter 6 gets to the bottom line: the point of work is to produce some-
thing. Productive workers focus on obtaining results. They prioritize, plan,
Introduction
xv
and organize time and tasks. Rather than give up easily, they persist on
the tasks at hand. This allows productive workers to achieve exceptional
results. A productive worker achieves a high standard, continuously
improves the way work is done, and exceeds performance expectations.
Workplace Competency 5: Proactivity
Chapter 7 addresses the need to keep looking ahead. Proactive workers
anticipate and adapt. They look for patterns in the world around them and
prepare for changes. Proactive people are open-minded and actively
gather diverse perspectives. This allows them to see things in many dif-
ferent ways. When functioning proactively, workers can create original
ways to improve situations and to capitalize on opportunities. People
who are proactive develop and promote themselves to achieve career and
life goals. By fulfilling career and life goals, they position themselves for
success.
USING TLC AT WORK
TLC at Work will help you develop your personal TLC and workplace com-
petencies. It will provide you with all the tools you need to enhance the
performance of others.
As a trainer, leader, or coach, you can use this book as a comprehen-
sive resource for dealing with virtually any employee performance diffi-
culty. You can also use it with your clients as a tool for assessing and
developing specific workplace competencies.

Acknowledgments
I’d like to thank the trainers, leaders, and coaches who contributed their

stories as well as my clients and colleagues who shared their personal
development experiences. Thanks to all the wonderful people at Davies-
Black/CPP, Inc., for their support and encouragement. And special thanks
to Paul, Kelly, and Eric.
xvii

About the Author
Donna Dunning is director of Dunning Unlimited, a learning, career
development, and work performance consulting firm. An award-winning
psychologist, educator, and certified human resources professional, she
has more than twenty years of experience providing assessment and out-
placement services, facilitating workshops, and consulting in the area of
employee development. Dunning is a member of the APT MBTI
®
Interna-
tional Training Faculty and author of What’s Your Type of Career?
xix