66

Xa hoi hgc. s6 3 (143), 2018

GlAl QUYET MAU THUAN VO CHONG 6
DAN T O C CO HO HIEN NAY
(Nghien cuu trucmg hap xS Gia Hiep, huyen Di Linh, tinh Lam Ddng)
DAO THI HIEU'
NGO VAN HUAN"

Tom tdt: Bai viit phdn tich s6 lieu tir cuoc khdo sdt ndm 2017 tgi mot xd a tinh Lam
Ddng vi hinh thuc mdu thudn, cdch thuc vd vai trd cua cdc thiet che trong viec gidi quyet
mdu thudn va chdng trong gia dinh nguai ddn tQC Ca Ho. Ket qud cho thdy hinh thuc
biiu hien mdu thudn chit yiu Id cdi nhau/tranh ludn, mdng chici, de doa, im Idng/khong
noi chuyen vai nhau, dap phd dd dgc, ddnh dap nhau, vd uong bia, ruau. Gia dinh vd ho
hdng tham gia vdo viec gidi quyet mdu thudn nhieu nhdt vd duac ddnh gid co vai tro quan
trong trong gidi quyit mdu thudn va chong. Cdch thuc md ho su dung de gidi quyet mau
thudn chit yiu Id phdn tich, khuyen bdo, chia se. thong cdm doi vai cdc cap va chong.
Viec gidi quyet mdu thudn va chong cua nguai ddn toe Ca Ho cUng co chiu su dnh huang
bdi ludt tuc cua cong dong.
Tit khoa: dan tdc Co Ho, mdu thuan vg chdng, giai quyet mdu thudn vg chdng,
Ldm Ddng.
Nhgn bai: 13/8/2018

Gui phdn bien: 20/8/2018

Duyet ddng: 12/9/2018

1. Dat van de
Tir xua din nay, gia dinh ludn giu mdt vi tri rdt quan trpng. Gia dinh khong dan
gian la noi hdi tu cdc thdnh vien cd quan he hdn nhdn, huylt thdng ma cdn la mdi trudng

xa hgi hda tre em, dn dinh nhdn cdch cua ngudi Idm vd tham gia vdo hoat ddng kinh tl de
giiip xd hdi phdt trien. Trong nhung ndm gdn ddy, gia dinh Viet Nam dang phai ddi mat
vdi nhilu vdn dl dnh huang din vai trd, vi tri ciia gia dinh, trong do cd vdn dl mau thuan
vg chdng. Mdu thuan vg chdng khdng chi dnh hucmg true tilp din mdi quan he gifia
ngudi vg va ngudi chdng, ma cdn anh hudng din bdu khdng khi gia dinh cung nhu cac
thanh vien cdn lai. Cac nghien cim da cho thdy trong ddi sdng hon nhdn, cd rdt nhilu vdn
de ddn din mau thudn vg chdng. Mdu thudn vg chdng cd thi xudt phdt tir vdn dl tdi chinh
(Dew vd Dakin, 2011; Dew vd Stewart, 2012), giao due con cdi, img xir giiia cdc thdnh
vien trong gia dinh vdi nhau, ling xir ciia vg chdng vai hdng xom, ban be... (Nguyin
Hdng Ha, 2010). Le Phugng (1986) chi ra 2 loai nguyen nhan dan din mdu thudn vg
Dgi hgc Dd Lat.
Hoc vien Cdn bg Thdnh pho Ho Chi Minh.


Ddo Thj Hiiu, Ngo Vdn Huan 67
chong. Loai nguySn nhdn thit nhat Hen quan din vdn de nhu tinh yeu cdm tinh; tinh yfiu
thuc dung; xu hudmg tinh d\ic hda tmh ySu; thdi gian tim hieu ngdn. Lo?ii nguySn nhdn
thii hai lien quan din quan niem sai lam vl tinh ySu vd hdn nhdn; thilu binh ddng giQa vg
vd chdng; mdu thuin thi h6 dan din mdu thuan vg chdng; ngoai tinh va quan niem qud dl
dai vl ly hdn. Trong gia dinh ngheo, mau thuan vg chdng thudng xudt phdt tir khd khdn
vl kinh te, tir su phdn chia tdi sdn thira kl khdng cdng bdng. Trong khi dd, nhimg gia iflnh
cd dilu kifn khd gid, mdu thuin vg chdng lai xudt phdt tir s\r chenh l?ch thu nheip vd sii
dyng thai gian ddnh cho hoat dgng vui chai gidi tri (Bui Quang Diing, 2002). Vl mdt hmh
thiic bieu hien, mau thuan vg chong cd nhieu bieu hi?n khac nhau nhu tranh ludn to tieng,
mdng chiri nhau hodc chiln tranh lanh (Vu Tuan Huy, 2007; Cao HuyIn Nga, 1998). BSn
canh dd, cd cap vg chong xuat hien hi§n tugng ddnh dap, diing vu lire hoac cam dodn lam
mdt viec gi dd.
Cdch thiic giai quyet phd bien nhat khi co mdu thuan la cac c^p vg chdng tvr gidi
quylt. Cach thuc nay thudng dugc cdc cap vg chong trong gia dinh hat nhan Iga chgn hem
so vcri cdc cap vg chdng sdng trong gia dinh nhieu the he (Bid Quang Diing, 2002). Chi

khi ndo hai vg chong khdng thi tu giai quyet tW hg nho toi s\r trg giiip, hda gidi cua cac
thdnh viSn trong gia dinh, hg hang than tdc ho|c ciia to hda gidi. Cac gia dinh cd dieu ki?n
kinh tg khdc nhau cd each thitc gidi quyet mau thuan khdc nhau. Trong khi gia dinh khd
gid thuong lua chgn each "ddng cita bao nhau" de hda gidi mau thuan vg chdng thi gia
ffinh ngheo thucmg cd xu huong ldm cho mau thuan trd nen nghiem trgng hon vd nhd tcri
sir hda gidi cua td hda gidi trong cdng ddng. Nhu v£iy, phdn ldm cdc nghien ciiu da chi ra
rdng cdc cdp vg chdng ludn mong mudn gidi quyet mau thuan nhdm tgo s\r hoa thudn
trong gia dinh.
Tuy nhien, cung c6 cdp vg chdng lira chgn ly hdn dl gidi quylt mau thuan (Trdn
Thi Minh Thi, 2011). Ddi vdi phu nii, hg it hi dp I\rc ve su ky vgng phdi kiem that nhilu
tien dl lo ldng cho gia dinh ban so vcri dan dng. Chinh vi vdy, vdn de ve kinh te chua phai
la nguydn nhan chii yeu ldm cho phu nu: quylt dinh chdm dirt cudc kit hdn. Theo nghien
ciju cua Phan Thi Luydn (2016), ly do khien cho ph\i nu chdm diit hdn nhdn nhu la: tinh
tinh khdng hgp nhau, ngogi tinh, ghen tudng, bgo lgc gia dinh, phgm tgi va mdc cdc t? ngn
xa hdi, dm dau/b?nh tdt,... Con ddi v6i vi$c ly hdn trong cgng d^ng ngucri Lach (mgt
nhdnh cua ddn t0c Ca Ho) la do xudt phat tir nhung nguyen nhan nhu: ngoai tinh, lucri
bilng hoac do nguai chdng rugu che, vu phu, xiic phgm churi mang cha me... Khi mudn ly
hdn, ngucri chdng/vg phai nho ngucri trong hg hang ciia minh, dgc biet Id dng cgu, ngucri
lam mai mdi din ndi chuyen vdi cha me hodc chi em gdi cua ngudi kia ve y dinh cua
minh. Hai ben s6 tien hdnh ddn bii vd bi phgt vg theo ludt t\ic. Theo quy djnh cua lugt tuc
Lgch, nlu ngudi chdng ngogi tinh hodc cd hdnh dgng sai trdi thi anh ta va hp hdng phdi
din bu danh du cho bSn ngudi vg bdng nhung do vat nhu: mdt tam iu, mgt con heo vd
m$t che rugu. Neu hai vg chdng da co con, ngudri chong phdi cd trach nhi^m den bu cho
nguai vg chi phi nudi con, moi diia Id mgt con trau (hien nay trau dugc quy ddi ra thanh
tiln). Vd neu nguyen nhan ly hdn Id do ngudi vg thi chi ta ciing phai lam tuong tu nhu thi


68

Gidl quyet mdu thudn va chdng a ddn tgc Ca Ho hien nay...


(Trjn Thi HiSn, 2012). Tuy nhien, trong doi sdng thuc tiln, khi vg ch6ng co mau thuin
voi nhau thi Idiong phai ai cimg se lua chQn bien phap ly hon ma c6 the se giai quyet mdu
thuan bang hinh thiic khac.
Co th6 noi, cho d6n nay da co nhiSu nghien ciiu vS mau thuan va giai quylt mau
thuin vg ch6ng dugc gioi nghien ciiu nuoc ngoai va trong nuoc thuc hien. C^c nghign
ciiu da lam ro nguyen nhan, hinh thiic biiu hiSn mau thu^ vg chong, dong thoi n6u len
each giai quyet mau thuan va vai tro cua cac chu the trong viec giai quyet mau thuan vg
chong. Tuy nhien, cac nghien ciiu tim hieu thuc trang mau thuan, nguyen nh3n mau thuSn
va each giai quylt mau thuin vg chong trong cong dong ngirdi dan tgc thieu so 6 khu vuc
TSy Nguyen dang con kha it. Vi vay, nghien ciiu nay sg di vao nhan dien mau thuan vg
chong trong cgng dong Co Ho {mot cgng ddng ddn tgc thieu so theo che do mau h^ tai
Ldm D6ng) nhdm chi ra nguydn nhan ciing nhu giai phap cho van dS nay gan vdi ddc thii
cua dia ban nghien ciiu. Dong thoi, nghien ciiu ve su tac dgng, chi phoi ciia cac thilt chi
den giai quyet mau thuan vg chong van chua dugc nghien ciiu nhieu tir each tilp cdn xa
hgi hgc.
Trong bli canh qua trinh cong nghiep h6a, hien dai hoa, mau thuan vg chflng cung
dang CO chilu huong gia tang o cdc ddn tgc thilu s6 tai khu vuc Tay Nguyen. Co 3 cau
hoi nghien ciiu dat ra: Vdn de thuang gdy ra mau thuin vg ch6ng 6 nguoi ddn t§c Co Ho
Id gi? Hinh thiic mau thuan vg ching trong gia dinh cr dan tgc Co Ho nhu thi nao? Cach
thiic giai quylt mau thudn vg chong 6 ddn tgc Co Ho ra sao? Myc tieu cua bai viit nhfai
nhdn dien vdn dl gdy ra mau thuan va hinh thiic biiu hien mdu thuan vg chong 6 nguoi
ddn tOc Co Ho, ding thoi chi ra each thiic gidi quylt mdu thudn vg chong 6 ddn tgc Co
Ho trong boi canh hien nay.
2. So lieu va phirong phap nghien cihi
S6 lieu sir dung trong bai viit nay dugc thu thap tit cugc dilu tra chgn mau 200 hp
gia dinh nguoi ddn toe Co Ho tai Ldm D6ng thang ID nam 2017. Dia dilm khao sat t?i xa
Gia Hiep, huy$n Di Linh, tinh Lam D6ng. Tji dia ban xa co ting s6 611 hg gia dinh (voi
2.895 nhdn khau) nguoi Co Ho dang sinh sdng tai 5 trong ting s6 11 thdn. Nghien ciiu
nay tien hanh chgn 200 nguoi dai dien hg gia dinh (ngucri vg hodc ngucri chdng) ldm don

vi thu thap thong tin. Cu thi la gdm cd 100 nam va 100 nil; do tuli tir 18 din 34 tuli
chiem 55%, tu 35 din 49 tudi ehilm 29,0% va tir 50 din 60 tudi chiim 16,0%. Vl trinh
do hgc van, mil ehii chiim 32,0%, tiiu hgc chiim 25,5%, trung hgc eg so chiim 31,0% vi
trung hgc phi thdng trd Kn chiim 11,5%.
Ben eanh do, sd li$u dinh tinh dugc thu thap bSng phuang phap phdng vdn sdu cac
ddi tugng bao gdm: can bd van hda xa, can bd phu nir xa, truong thdn (Td trudng Td hoa
giai), can bd phu nft thdn, dai dien cua cdc cdp vg chdng nhjm khai thac nhirag thdng tin
chi tiet ve cac khia canh trong mdu thudn gia dinh va each giai quylt mau thuan gia dinh.
Trong nghien ciiu nay tac gia da thuc hi$n 10 phdng vdn sdu vai cac ddi tugng tren.


Ddo Thj Hiiu. Ngo Vdn Hudn 69
3. Vai net ve dan tgc Co- Ho it xa Gia Hi|p, huy^n Di Linh, tinh Lam D^ng
Cho din cudi thi ky 19, ddu thi ky 20, kinh tl-vdn hda-xa hgi cua ngudi Ca Ho cr
Ldm D6ng van trong thcri ky tan ra cua chi dO cdng xa nguydn thuy, mang ddm net
nhung ylu td truyin thdng, co xua vd hdu nhu chua bi tdc dgng nhilu bdi cdc ylu td b6n
ngoai. Sau nam 1975, dgc bi?t Id tir nam 1986 din nay, Ddng vd Nha nudc dd thyc hi?n
nhilu chii truang, chinh sach vd triln khai nhilu chuong trinh, du dn phdt triln miin
mii, vimg sau, viing xa, vimg ddng bdo dan tgc thilu so. H? thdng chinh sdch nay khd da
dang vd todn di?n trSn tdt ca cac ITnh vuc: kinh te, dau tu ca sa hg tdng, y te, giao due,
van hoa... da tdc dgng mgnh me, ldm thay ddi cdn bdn kinh tl, xd hpi, vdn hda ciia
nguoi Co Ho a Lam Ddng ndi rieng, cu dan tgi cho Tdy Nguyen ndi chung. Ngudi dan
tgc Ca Ho cdn dugc ggi bing nhiing cai ten khdc nhau nhu la Ko-ho (KdHo), K'Ho.
Trong ddn tgc Ca Ho bao g6m cdc nhanh khdc nhau nhu ngudi Mg, ngudi Sre (Sd Re),
nguoi Cii (Xin) hay Chill, ngudri Lat, ngudri Tring (Td-ring), ngudi Nop, ngudi Ta lai
(Ta-Lai), (Ciiu Long Giang va Toan Anh, 1974:395-396). Tinh din ngay 01/7/2015
(thai diem tien hanh cugc Tdng dieu tra kinh te, xa hgi 53 ddn tgc thieu so), tgc nguai
Co Ho cd 188.266 ngudi, ddng nhdt trong s6 cdc tgc nguoi thilu so a Ldm Ddng, xep
thii 4 trong 12 tgc ngudi tgi cho Tay Nguyen (sau ngudi Gia-rai, E-de, Ba-na), thii 15
trong cgng dong 54 dan tgc a Vigt Nam (Phimg Diic Timg vd cgng s\r, 2017:98). Dan vi

td chiic xd hpi cao nhat ciia ngu6i Ca Ho la bon, ddy cung la don vi hanh chinh quan
trpng nhdt vi no khdng chi Id mOt dan vi to chiic x3 hgi md nd con la mgt dan vi kinh te
t\r cung tu cdp. Diing dau bon Id chu bang, ngucri ndy thudng Id nguai tdi gidi, cd sue
khde, bilt an ndi, cd hieu biet ve phong tyc, tgp quan, lugt tuc. Ngodi ra, cdn cd "Hdi
ddng gid lang" gdm nhimg nguai cao tudi Id cdc chii nhd vd cdc tpc truang. Hdi dong
hgp vdi su tham gia cua trudng bon de gidi quyet nhGng trucmg hgp nghiem trgng. Tang
lap nay chii ylu Id nhihig ngudi cd su hieu biet, cd mdi quan he rgng vd cd s\r khdc biet
ve tdi sdn (trdu bd, chieng che, ndi ddng, ddt dai...). Nguiri Ca Ho cung nhu cdc ddn tdc
d Tdy Nguyen khac van theo chi do mdu h§, con gdi thira huong gia tdi, con trai phdi di
a rl, ddng hg tinh theo ddng nii. Do vdy, hdn nhan giiia con di vdi nhau bi coi la loan
luan nhung con ciia em gdi hodc chi gai van cd th6 ldy con cua em hoac anh trai (vi con
cua cgu mang hg ciia me la thudc dong hp khdc).
Ngudi chu gia dinh la ngudi me, ngucri vg nhung ngudi thay m$t gia dinh
thudmg la ngudri cgu. Khi gia dinh cd vi?c thi ngudi cau phdi diing ra thay mdt gia
dinh gidi quylt. Ngucri Ca Ho coi trpng con gdi hon con trai vi con gdi di bdt chdng vd
giu: ciia cdi trong gia dinh. Gia dinh nguai Ca Ho thudmg sdng thdnh m^t dgi gia dinh
voi nhilu tiiu gia dinh con cdi d chung dudi mpt mdi nhd (nhung khdng bdt budc).
Nguoi phung duomg cha me thudng Id con gdi lit hodc chi ca (Lmh Nga Niekdam,
2011:25).
Mdu thudn vg chdng trong nghien ciru nay bao gdm nhiing hanh vi bgo luc, cai
nhau, tranh ludn xdy ra giua ngudi vg vd nguai chdng trong gia dinh. Bdi viet ndy tap
trung vao tim hieu giai dogn vd van de gdy ra mdu thuan vg chdng, hinh thiic mau thuan
va cdch giai quyet mdu thuan vg chdng o ddn tdc Ca Ho, tinh Lam Dong.


70

Gidl quyet mdu thudn vfr chdng d ddn tpc Ca Ho hien nay...

4. Thyc trang mau thuan vy chong * ddn tgc Cff Ho

4.1. Giai ^an xay ra m&u thuan vjr chong
D I tim hiiu giai doan xdy ra mau thuan vg chdng tai dia ban nghidn cihl, cdu hdi
dugc dua ra la: "Ong (ba) hdy cho bilt giai doan nao trong cudc sdng hdn nhdn de xdy ra
mdu thuin nhdt?". Kit qud khdo sat cho thdy, giai doan thuang xdy ra mdu thuin t-ong
doi sing hdn nhdn nhilu nhdt la vao giai do^in khi con con nhd (chiem 62%). Tiep theo la
giai doan khi mdi cudi va giai doan khi cdc con da truang thdnh co ty 1$ xap xi gan bdng
nhau (ty If tuong ling la 20,0% va 17,5%), giai do^in khi cac con dd lap gia dinh la it xay
ra mdu thudn nhdt chi chiem ty le 0,5%.
Giai doan khi bdt ddu cd con nho la giai doan dl xdy ra nhilu mdu thuan vdi cdc cap
vg chdng bdi vi liic nay hg bat ddu phai dam nhan them vai tro moi la vai trd ldm bl lam
mf. Ddc biet, diia con ddu long sinh ra la nilm hanh phiic gia dinh nhung nlu khdng cd su
chudn bi vl mdt tinh thdn ciing nhu la vdt chdt thi day se la giai doEUl tao nen s\r xao tr^n
trong ddi sdng gia dinh. Vi trong liic ndy cdng viec cua nguoi me phdi tang len rdt nhieu
lan so vdi tnrdc day. Hg se khdng con nhieu thdi gian cham lo cho bdn thdn minh va
ngudi chdng nhu trudc. Ben canh dd, tam ly cua ngudi phu nii sau khi sinh con xong
cung cd nhimg thay ddi ban. Cd thi giai doan khi mdi cudi vg chdng se chua can qua
nhilu tien ciia nhung trgng giai doan khi cd con nhd thi dd la van de ma hg rat quan tdm.
Vi the, giai doan ndy thudng se de xdy ra mdu thuan nhat. Khi hdi ve giai dogn thudng
xdy ra mdu thudn nhdt trong ddi sdng hdn nhdn ciia ngudi ddn tgc Co Ho thi mdt cdn bg
cua xa da chia se: "Xay ra mau thuan khi vg cd bdu den khi con hgc lap 1, khodng dg 18
den 23 va 24 tudi" (Nam, phd chu tich xd, 39 tudi). Khi ngudi phg nir mang thai thi hg si
it tham gia vdo qud trinh lao d^ng dugc nhilu nhu trudc ddy.
4.2. Van dS thtrong gay ra m&u thuan vp- chdng
Khi tim hiiu vl nguyen nhan dan din mdu thuin vg ching, cau hdi dugc ddt ra Id
"Nhang vdn dl thudng gdy ra mdu thuan trong doi sing hdn nhan cua dng (ba) Id gi?"
Vdn de thudng gay ra mdu thuan trong ddi song hdn nhan cua cac cdp vg chdng ngudi
dan tdc Co Ho cung kha da dsing. Thdi quen xdu cOa vg/chdng trong dn d hang ngay (nhu
uing rugu, hiit thudc la, ludi bieng tdm nia...) la vdn dl thudng khiln cho cdc cdp vg
chdng mdu thudn nhilu nhdt, ehilm tdi 86,5%. Ben eanh dd, cdc vdn de khdc nhu thilu
trdch nhiem trong ddng gdp kinh tl (ehilm 53,0%), khdc nhau trong each cham sdc va

day dd con cdi (chiim 48,5%), bj ddnh ddp, chiri riia, de dga (chiim 46,5%)), quan h? gia
dinh hai ben (chiem 13,0%) cOng trd thdnh vdn dl gdy nen s\r mau thuin vg chdng. Cdn
nhiing vdn de nhu su khac biet vl vdn hda, hgc vdn, dia vi xd hgi; khdng hda hgp ddi
sdng tinh due thi diu chiem ty 1$ 6,0%. Du lieu tit phdng vdn sdu cung phdn anh ro
nguyen nhdn mdu thuin vg chdng, mdt can bg thdn chia se:
Do kinh te, nguai ta theo chi rfp miu he. Nguai phit nu ndm quyin, ngu&i 3an ong
khong CO tieng noi, doi khi qua chen co lai qua tiing lgi. Ya han nUa la nhgn thic
cua hg chua cao.
(Nam, trudng thdn, 52 tuoi)


Ddo Thi Hiiu, Ngo Vdn Hudn

71

H i n h 1. Van de thircmg gay ra mSu thuan trong 6iA s i n g hon nhan ngirM dSn tQC Cff Ho

Thieu trach
Khac nhau Thoi xau cua Quan he gia Sy khac biet vd Bi danh dap,
nhiem trong
trong each vp/chong trong dinh hai bdn v5n hoa, hoc chiri nia, de
dong gop kinh cliamsocva a n a hang ngay
van, diavixa
doa
te
day dfl con cdi
hgi

Khong hoa
h(?p dai song

tinh dye

Chil thich: N=200.
Nguon. Ket qud khdo sdt cua de tdi

d cdng ddng ngudi Co Ho tai ddy, lam dung rugu bia, nghien rugu dang la van de
rdt ddng chii y, ddng bdo ddng. Ddy cung chinh Id nguyen nhdn tr^rc tiep, chdt xuc tdc d6
gdy nen mdu thuan giira cdc cap vg chdng. Mdt nguoi vg cd chdng thuang udng nrgu da
chia se nhu sau: "Ong di udng hdng ngay. Moi ngay dng uong mpt lit. Bay gid, dng cung
udng nhu vgy. Ong udng vdo la khdng cho minh nghi ngoi ddu. Ong ngdi ma ti vi do do
xong rdi dng udng rugu vd minh ndi thi dng chiH lai" (Nu, lam ndng, 47 tudi), hay Id:
"Buon chii, nhung ciing cd di ldm nhung vl rdi nhdu, cu lam xong vd nhau, chi tiic" (Nir,
ldm ndng, 22 tudi).
Nguyen nhan Igm dung rugu bia ma thudng Id tij phia nguai chdng da dugc mpt sd
nghien ciiu dh cap nhu Id mdt trong nhiing nhdn td dan den mdu thudn, bao lire gia dinh.
Kk qud tir nghien cuu cua Trinh Thdi Quang (2008) da cho thdy rdng lam dung nrgu cua
nam gioi tai dja bdn nghien cihi Id mdt hi?n tugng khd phd biln, vd day la mpt trong
nhung ydu td cd lien quan mat thilt vdi nhimg mdu thuan va bgo luc trong gia dinh.
Ngodi ra, vdn dl khiln cho vg chdng xdy ra mdu thuan vi dai sdng kinh te khd
khdn. Tinh trang vay mugn, tin dung den dl chi trd tiln phan bdn, tiln mua cdc loai thudc,
tiln mua cdy gidng, vdt dung tudi tieu trong viec canh tdc cdy cd phe va chi tieu hang
ngay. Tuy nhien, thu nhgp tir ndng nghiep thudng theo mua vu, vi vdy tinh trgng "an
truac trd sau" Id rat phd bien a cac h$ gia dinh va cii nhu vay tir mua ndy sang mua khdc,
tir thi he nay sang the he khdc. Chinh vi vay, sir khd khan trong ddi sdng hang ngdy, ng
ndn bua vdy cdc hg gia dinh ngudi Co Ho da true tiep gdy nen nhihig mdu thuan xung dot
de dpa den hanh phiic gia dinh.


72_ Gidi quyet mdu thudn vgi chdng a ddn tgc Ca Ho hi4n nay...


4.3. Tdn suat xdy ra m&u thuan
Voi cdu hdi nhdm ddnh gid tiin sudt cua cac mdu thuin trong quan h^ vg ch6ng ngudi
Ca Ho, bdng 1 cho thdy, xdy ra mdu thuin cua vg chdng a miic hdng ngdy la trong cdc v ^
dl nhu thdi quen ciia vg/ch6ng trong an a hdng ngdy (2%), thilu trdch nhi?m trong ddng
gdp kinh tl (1,5%)... nhung diu chiim ty 16 rat thip. Tan suat xdy ra mdu thuan tudn 1 din
2 ldn thi tap ttung chu ylu or cdc vdn de la thdi xdu cOa vg/chdng trong dn d hdng ngay
(13,5%), bi ddnh dgp, chui nia, de dpa (8,5%), thilu trdch nhi^m trong ddng gdp kinh tl
(5,5%) va khac nhau trong cdch chdm sdc vd dgy do con cai (5%). Ddi voi tin suit xdy rq
mdu thuin theo thdng 1 ldn thi chii ylu a cdc vdn dl nhu thoi xdu cua vg/ch^ng trong an a
hdng ngdy (27,5%), bi ddnh dap, chiri nia, de dga (22%), thieu Udch nhiem trong ddng gdp
kinh te (13,5%) vd khdc nhau trong each chdm sdc va day d§ con cai (9,5%).
Bdng 1. Tan su^t xky ra mSu thuan vgr chdng ngirM dan t9c Ca Ho
Dan Vf: %
Tan suat x&y ra mSu thuin
Tuan 1 Thing] Vii thdng
din 2 lltn
ikn
1 \m

Khong
bao gid

Thieu tr&ch nhi^m trong d6ng g6p
kinhte

33,0

46,5

Khic nhau trong cich chSm s6c v^

d^y do con cii

33,5

51,5

Cac v ^ de

H^i;^^
ng^y

Tong

Th6i xau cua vgr/chong trong 3n 6
h^g ng^y

2,5

13,5

27,5

43,5

13,0

100,0

Quan h^ gia dmh hai ben


0,0

0,5

3,0

9,5

87,0

100,0

S\r khic bi^t ve vSn h6a, hpc van,
dia V) xa h$i

0,0

0,5

1,0

1,0

97,5

100,0

Bi dinh d§p, chiiiriia,de d^a

0,5


8,5

22,0

15,5

53,5

100,0

Khong h6a h^p d6i s6ng tinh dye

0,5

0,0

0,5

2,5

96,5

100,0

Chung

0,8

4,8


11,0

19,8

63,6

100,0

Chu thich: N-200.
Nguon: Kit qud khdo sdt tai xd Gia Hiep ndm 2017.

Mau thuin xdy ra vm thang mgt Ito chiSm ty 1$ cao nhat. Cg th^ la mau thuan ve
cac van de nhu thdi xiu cua vg/chdng trong an d hang ngay (chidm 43,5%), khac nhau
trong each cham sdc va day do con cai (chi^m 33,5%), thi^u tr4ch nhijm trong ddng gdp
kinh td (chiSm 33%), bi danh dap, chui nia, de dga (chidm 15,5%) v4 quan h? gia dinh hai
ben (chiem 9,5%). Khi hdi vd vi$c giOa cac nhdm cd mtic sdng khdc nhau thi nhdm nao
thudng d&ih dap vg con, cai nhau nhiSu hem thi mdt can bd cua thdn chia se:

Oddy CO noi la nhom khd tht khong co, thugc tir trung binh cho din ngheo hay xa
ra mau thudn, liic thi anh ldm cdi ndy khong dit, luc thi trd cdi kia khong xong
(Nil, can bg ph\i niS thdn, 59 tu6i).


Bao Thj Hieu, Ngo Van Hudn 73
4.4. Hinh thiic biiu hifn miu thuin vgr chong
Khi x4y ra m4u thuSn vg chong thi bidu hign dudi hinh thiic ldi ndi chiem t^ 1$ cao
nhat la 66,0%. Mau thuan vita bifo hien dudi hinh thilc ldi ndi vua bieu hi$n dudi hinh
thUc hanh dgng ehiem ty 1$ gto bing mdt nua so vdi dudi hinh thiic ldi ndi (31,5%), cdn
dudi hinh thiic hanh ddng chi chidm 2,5%. Cd thd ndi ring hmh thiie bidu hi?n cua mau

thuan vg chong ngudi d&i tgc Co Ho chii yeu la hmh thiic ldi ndi.
Thvtc tien, hinh thiie bidu bi^n mSu thuan bang ldi ndi cting khd la da d?uig. Trong
khudn kho cua nghien cilu nay, tdc gia chi t^p trung tim hieu nam hinh thiic bieu hi?n
chinh la: eai nhau/tranh li^n, mang, chili, dga danh dap, dga ly hdn va dga t\r til. Cd tdi
195 ngudi cho rang mau thuan cua hg bidu hi^n bdng hinh thiic ldi ndi.
Hinh 2. Hinh thire biiu hifn man thuan \tf chong ngirdi dan t$c C(r Ho
Bo ra ngoai mot thoi gian ngan

I 22 7

ãs.Đ.

Uong bia, ni(7u/danh bai

17

3 tJ

Danh dap nhau, danh dip con cii

4 S,5

Ci "^

Dap p h i do dac

Biiu hi?n mau
thuin bing len noi

CQ


•

Im l^ing, khong noi chuy?n
Doa ly h6n

59,1

•

8,7
1 22 5

Dpa danh dip
Mang, chiii

57.4

Cai nhau/Tranh luin
0/^0

10

20

30

40

50


60

70

80

90

100

Chu thich: N=200.
Ngudn • Kit qud Ichdo sdt tai xa Gia Hiep ndm 2017

Trong cdc hinh thiic bieu hi^n mau thuin vg chdng bdng ldi ndi thi hinh thiic cai
nhau/tranh luan cd ty le cao nhat (90,8%), tiep den la hinh thiic mang, chiH (57,4%), hinh
thiic dga ddnh dap ehi gan bang mdt mia hinh thiie mdng, chili (22,6%) va thdp nhdt la
hinh thiic dga ly hdn (8,7%). Ddi vdi hinh thiic bidu hien mau thuin vg chong bdng hdnh
dgng, tdc gia tdp tnmg tim hieu d ndm hinh thiic bieu iii^n chfnh Id: im Idng/khdng ndi
chuy$n, d|p phd dd dac, ddnh dap nhau/ddnh ddp con cdi, udng bia, rugu/ddnh bai vd bd
ra ngodi mdt thdi gian ngdn. Cd 66 ngudi cho rdng hinh thiic bieu hidn mau thuin bdng
hdnh ddng.
Ci hinh thiic bieu hidn mdu thuin vg chdng bdng hanh dgng thi hinh thdc im lang,
khdng ndi chuy?n cd ty Id cao nhit (59,1%). Hmh thiic dap phd do dac, hinh thiic uong
bia, rugu/ddnh bdi vd hinh thiic ddnh dap nhau, ddnh dap con cdi thi ddu chiem ty 1$ xip
xi gdn bdng nhau (ty le tuong ting la 51,5%, 47,0% va 45,5%). Cdn hinh thiic bd ra ngoai


74


Gidi quyet mdu thudn v{r chdng d ddn tpc Ca Ho hien nay...

mdt thdi gian ngdn (di d?io, tham ban be, ngudi than gia dinh...) cd ty \% thip nhat
(22,7%).
Khi hdi vd hinh thiic bidu hien mdu thuin vg chdng, mgt phy nft da ehia se:
Ugt tudn co khi yg chdng ddnh nhau 2-3 ldn;... Ai an trdi minh cUng khong cho,
khi do ong bi stmg to, din 3 gid sdng minh mdi cdi ra.
(Nir, lam ndng, 47 tudi)
Ndu nhu trong cdc nghien ciiu tnrdc ddy, hinh dnh ngudi chdng sii dung bao lyc
bang hanh dgng nhu ddnh, dim, dd... vdi ngudi vg thi trong nghien ciiu nay l!ii nhan thiy
hinh dnh ngudi phu nu ddnh nhau vdi chdng nhimg lgi cd the trdi chdng lgi. O cgng ddng
ddn tdc Co Ho id theo chd do mlu he nen quydn luc ciia nam gidi khdng bdng nft gidi ve
mgi phugng dien. Theo ket qua nghien ciiu ciia Dao Thi Hieu (2016) da cho thay, so vdi
ngudi dan tgc Kinh thi ngugi ddn tgc Co Ho it xdy ra mau thuan hon. Ben cgnh dd, d
ngudi dan tdc Cg Ho, ngudi vg thudng gay ra mdu thudn trudc hon so vdi ngudi chong.
Ket qud nghien ciiu dinh tinh cung dd cho thay khi vg chdng ngudi dan tdc Co Ho xay ra
mdu thudn thi ngudi chdng thudng im lang vd thudng tim den rugu liay cdc eu^e vui choi
khdc vdi ban be... Mdu thuan xay ra giua vg ch^ng d ngudi dan t0c Co Ho chu ydu Id thi
hien dudi hinh thiic bdng lgi ndi.
Ben cjnh dd, cd nhung cdp vg ch6ng thi khdng ddnh nhau ma la bd di dao xung
quanh cho bdt tuc gidn nhau, bd di udng rugu vdi b ^ be, hay Id "dd gao". Mgt y kidn cua
ngudi phu nft khde da eho bidt:
Cu nguai kia di ben kia, nguai ng di ben ng, di quanh trong vudn thoi. Hoac chai
vdi chdu roi Idt nUa quay lgi thoi, ddu cd sao ddu. Cd mgt ldn thi tiic qud mdy ong
di uong vdi bgn be dd, roi chi do gao ludn, theo phong tuc cUa ddn tgc dy.
(Nft, Idm ndng, 48 tudi)
Tai cgng ddng ngudi ddn tdc Co Ho, viec ngudi vg "dd g£io" ddi vdi ngudi
chdng thi cd nghia la dd dudi ngudi chdng vd bdn nha me de cua minh. Thdng thudng,
hg dd mdt Ion ggo trude sdn dd ngudi chdng thdy. Khi dd, ngudi phu nft da khdng cdn
mudn chdp nhdn ngudi chdng cua minh va cd y mudn dudi anh ta ra khdi ngdi nha cia

minh. Dd la mdt hdnh vi dugc hanh xft theg phong tuc cua cdng ddng ngudi dan tdc
Co Ho.
5. Cach thu-c giai quyet mau thuan vg chong d dan tgc Cff Ho
Khi xay ra mdu thuan trong gia dinh thi ai eung mudn gidi quydt vin dd dd mgt cdch
nidt de nham lam cho gia dinh trd nen hanh phiic hem. Nhung each thftc dd gidi quySt
mdu thuan nhu thd ndo thi cdn phu thugc vao muc dg, tinh chit nghidm trgng ciia mdu
thudn dd. Voi mdt cgng ddng dan cu theo chd do mau he thi cdch thiic giai quydt mdu
thuan vg chdng se dugc phan tich trong muc nay.
Y kien dugc nhidu ngudi lira chgn nhit khi ndi vd hinh thiic gidi quydt mau
thuan vg chdng Id hai vg chdng chu ddng lam hda (64,5%). Ben canh dd, hinh thiic


Ddo Thj Hieu, Ngo Vdn Hudn 75
ngudi thdn trong gia dinh va chdng hda gidi cung cliidm ty 1? khd cao (63%). Hinh
thuc ngudri chdng lam hda truoc thi cao hcnn so vdi hinh thiic ngudi vcf lam hda trudc
(33% so vdi 14,5%). Phai chang do ngudi ch6ng thudng gay ra mdu thuin trudc hay
Id do ngudi phu nii Id chu gia dinh nen ngudi chdng sg chii dpng lam hda. Cdn s\r
tham gia gidi quyet mau thuan vgr chdng ciia chinh quygn, td churc xd hpi Id rat
thdp (5%).
Hinh 3. Hinh thuc giai quylt mlu thula vi^ chong nguiri dSn tgc Co* Ho

I Vq lam hoa
tnidc

Hai vg chong
chu dQDg 1 ^

De

Nguoi

[dl than
inn dinh
ftinh
tiong gia
vo ch6ng hoa

Ngiroi trong
troDg
dhnii hg
hn hnn
ddng
hoa
giai

Chinh qquyen,
; hgi
tn
(6 chirc.
chuc xS
hoa giai

Khac

Chu thich: N=200.
Nguon • Kit qua khdo sdt cua de tdi

Cung nhu hinh thuc bieu hi?n mdu thuan, hinh thiic gidi quydt mdu thuan ciia vp
chdng ciia ngudi ddn tdc Co Ho cung chu yeu bang ldi ndi (86%). Ty le gidi quy^t bdng
ca ldi ndi vd hdnh ddng chiem 12%, vd gidi quylt bdng hdnh dpng, cii chi, thai dp chi
chiSm 2%.

Hinh 4 cho thdy, each giai quyet mdu thuan ciia vp chong bdng ldi xin loi chiim ty
le cao nhdt (77,2%). Giai quyet bdng cdch gidi thich, gdp y chiem ty \% 54,8%, gdp hon 4
lan so vdi gidi quylt bdng nhihig ldi d6 ddnh/ninh not (13,2%). Ngodi ra, mpt sd ngudi
cdn giai quyet bang hanh vi khdc (vi du nhu la vp chdng lam trd hi vdi nhau...) nhung
chi chiem ty le rdt nhd. Khi hdi ve viec vp chdng khdng t\r gidi quylt mau thuan ciia minh
thi se nhu the ndo? Mot can bd cua xa, ngudi dan tdc Co Ho da cho bilt:
Ben chi neu md ai co mdu thudn lan thi nguai chong se vi nha m?, nhung niu
minh muon chong ve ben minh thi minh lgi la ngudi di ru&c chdng vi, rdi xin
loi, con khong neu ma va kien quyet khong don thi ben ngi lgi dua chdng
minh ve.
(Na, can bp vdn phdng Dang uy xa, 25 hidi)


7S" Gidi quyet mdu thudn vg chong a ddn tdc CaHo hien nay..

Hinh 4. Cach giai quy£t mau thuin vg- chSng ngu*i dSn tSc Ccr Ho
Khac
Chu ddng om ip, au ySm de lam hoa

^ H

Giai quySt bang each dan di 3n, di chm
Giai quyet bJng each quan bf tinh dye

•
•

Giai quyit thong
qua hinh thiic Icri
noi


25.9

3.7

Giai quyet bSng each tang hoa, qua/duatien

o

11,1

18,5

Gi^i quy^t bang each im lang^dg ISu r6i b6 qua
Khac
Giai quyet bang nhCmg loi do danh/ninh not

59.3

1 1.5
^ ^ m

13^

Giai quyet bang each giai thich, gop y

,8

Giai quylt bing \in xin l5i
%


77,2

0

20

40

60

80

Chu thich: N^200.
Nguon: Ket qud khdo sdt cua de tdi.

Nhimg liic vo chdng cd xdy ra mdu thuan rdi ngudi chong t\r bd ve nhd bd m? de
cua minh thi ngudi vp phdi vua rude chdng ve va phai xin loi chdng, gia dinh ben chong.
Cdn trong trudng hpp ngudi vp khdng ddn rude chdng ve thi gia dinh ben npi (gia dinh
ben chdng) se mang ngudi chdng ve nha vo. Khi dd, mdu thuin cua vp chdng se dupc sv
can thi?p ciia gia dinh hai ben npi ngoai.
Gidi quydt mdu thuan vp chdng bdng each im Idng/de Idu rdi bd qua chiem ty 1?
59,3%. Vp chdng gidi quylt bdng cdch dan di dn, di choi chi chiim ty IS 25,9%, nhung
vdn cao hem gidi quyet bdng each tdng hoa, qud/dua tien (18,5%). Mot sd it cap vp chdng
giai quyet mdu thuan bdng cdch chii ddng dm ap, du yim de lam hda (11,5%) hay quan h^
tinh due (3,7%). Nghien cuu trudc day cung cho thdy, khi vp chdng xdy ra mdu thuan vdi
nhau thi mdt trong hai ngudi cd the lua chpn ylu td "tinh ySu" hodc "tinh d\ic" de dilu
khien ddi phuong. Mpt sd ngudi vp thdm chi tir chdi cho chdng quan h? tinh dye de dilu
khien anh ta, mudn anh ta xin xd nhieu ldn va hiia ldm nhung viec khac cho mmh trudc
khi ddng y (Mai Huy Bich, 2009:139).

Mdc du, vdn de mau thuan vp chdng Id vi?criSngcua cdc gia dinh nhung da sd cac
cap vp chdng ngudi dan tdc Co Ho ciing cdn tdi sv giiip 6d cua cdc thdnh vien khac trong
gia dinh, ho hang, ban be, td hda gidi tai dia phuong, Cha xii (ngudi ben nha thd)... tham
gia vdo gidi quyet mau thudn.
Nhung ngudi tham gia gidi quylt mdu thudn vp chdng d ngudi dan tdc Co Ho chii
yeu la gia dinh (65,5%). Sy tham gia cua hp hang vao giai quylt mdu thuan ehilm ty 1?
gan bdng 2/3 so vdi su tham gia cua gia dmh (40,5%). Vd sir tham gia ciia hdng xdm thi
chiem ty le gdn gap ddi so vdi su tham gia cua ban be, ddng nghidp vdo vi$c gidi quylt
mdu thudn vp chdng (15,5% so vdi 8,5%). Cdn s\r tham gia cua td hda giai tai dia phuang
vd Cha xii (ngudi bdn nha thd) diu chiim ty le khd thdp (6% va 3%). Tuy nhien, co tdi


Bdo Thj Hieu, Ngo Vdn Hudn
33% sd ngiidi cho rSng Ichi vg chdng xay ra mau thuin thi Ididng cd ai tham gia bdi vi dd
la nhihig v&i dd nhd nhat trong cudc sdng hang ngay nen Ichdng nhit thidt ph4i cd sir
tliam gia cua ngudi Idiac ma vo chdng tvr giai quydt vdi nhau. Trong mau nghidn ciiu, da
sd gia dinh ciia ho thudc Icidu loai gia dinh hai thd he va gia dinh ba thd he. Vide vq chdng
xay ra mau thuan vdi nhau la mdt didu khdng thd tranh khdi. Ban thta ho ciing dS cd
nhiing nd luc nhat dinh de giai quydt v&i dd mau thuin cua minh. Tuy nhien, khi gap
nhiing van dd mau thuin ma vg chdng khdng t\i giai quydt dugc tbi dng ba, bd me, dng
cau hay la gia lang, trudng tdc (trudng ddng ho),., se cd quydn tham gia va dua ra y kidn
ddng gdp bat budc vg chdng phai tuan theo. Theo quan diem cua B. Strong, quydn l\ic bat
ngudn til tinh hgp danh, chinh danh (din theo Mai Huy Bich, 2009:139). Nhu vSy, nhimg
ngudi do cd quyen lire hon ngudi vg va ngudi chdng, do dd, tidng ndi cua hp cd tinh chat
quyet dinh. Ho da tham gia vao de giai quydt mau thuan xay ra giiia cac cap vg chdng.
Hinh 5. Nh&ng ngirdi tham gia giai quyet man thuin va Ch6ng nguiri dan toe Ca Ho

1

Kh6ng CO ai tham gia

Cha xii (Ngucri ben nha tha)

B

To hoa giai tai dia phuong
Ban be, dong nghiep
Hang xom
HQ hang
RBi^

Gia dinh
0

10

20

30

%

40

50

60

70

Chii thich: N=200.

Nguon: Ket qua khdn tdt cua de tdi.

Theo quan diem cua ly thuyet trao ddi, con ngudi ludn hdnh dpng mdt cdch cd chii
dich, cd suy nghT de lira chpn va sii dung cdc ngudn lire mpt cdch duy ly nhdm dgt dupc
ket qud t6i da vdi chi phi tdi thieu (L6 Ngpe Hiing, 2015: 354). Cdc c^p vp chdng l\ra
chpn hdnh ddng la tu giai quyet mdu thuan hay ciing nhihig ngudi se tham gia gidi quylt
mau thuan thi ludn cd su can nhdc ky ludng. Bdn thdn hp dd lua chpn viec cung vdi ngudi
trong gia dinh, hp hang gidi quyet mdu thuan la chii yeu chii khdng phdi la hang xdm, ban
be hay la ddng nghiep. Cd th6 Id neu hp chia se vdi hang xdm, ban be hodc ddng nghi?p
vl viec vp chdng minh cd xdy ra mdu thuan thi sp nhiing ngudi dd se gay bdt lpi cho
minh. Hon' nira, bd me, hp hdng Id nhiing ngudi thdn can vdi vp chdng va se cd nhimg
hiiu bilt ve ddi song vp chdng. Hp sg dua ra sir phdn tich, ldi khuyen bao phu hpp dl
giiip cdc cap vp chdng cd cupc sdng em dm vd hanh phuc hon. Ngodi ra, hp sdn sdng chdp
nhan vi?c ngdi lai vd cung ngudi khac gidi quylt mdu thuan chii khdng phdi la su tan ra
ciia cupc hdn nhdn.


78

Gidi quyet mdu thudn vg chdng d ddn tpc Ca Ho hien nay...

Ngudi chdng dan tpc Co Ho thudng hay cd thdi quen bd ve nh4 bd m? dd. Bdi vi,
trong can nha ma hg dang s6ng cung vdi vg thi gia san khdng thugc quyen sd hihi hg. V^
chi cd mdt ncri ma hg cd thd tim vd la gia dinh bo m? de cda minh, nhiing ngudi chi cm
gai cua minh. Tuy nhidn, khi hg bd vd thi se dugc m? dd ho^c chj gai mang v^ l»i cho gia
dinh ben vg. Ban vd vin dd nay, mgt can bd ciia xS, ngudi dan tdc Co Ho chia sd:
Chi thdy cdi do khong phdi cdch tSt nhdt md Id tgm thdi, cti mdi ldn me chdng tra
vi lgi cho minh thi lgi Id tdn mgt khodn nhu nhau nh?t, ddu phdi dua chdng ve la
binh thudng ddu. Hg dua ve rdi lgi phdi nhdu nhet vdi c6 chit ben chong vd m^
chdng nUa thi do mdi ggi Id gidi quyet xgng, con khdng thi chua xong ddu.

(Nu, can bd vSn phdng Dang uy xa, 25 tudi)
Mgt didu d^c bift trong each giai quydt mSu thuin cua ngudi dan tgc Co Ho la hg phai
1 ^ mdt bOa tide nhd dd chieu dai v^ cam on ngudi bdn nha chdng va ddng thdi xin loi hp.
Day khdng phai chi la mpt bfia Sn dd thd hien ldng bilt cm eiia gia dinh Ijen ngudi vg doi vdi
gia dinh ben ngudi chdng, ma nd da trd thanh mgt t^ic le cua c$ng dong niiy. Neu hp chua cd
lam hiia tide nhd dd thi coi nhu la mau thuin cda vg ch6ng chua dugc gidi quyet xong. Hg d3
lya chpn vide phai chdp nh|in xin loi gia dinh hai bdn, lam biia tide hay th§m chi la phai cd 1^
vat cho ben nha chdng la mudn dd vg chdng cd the quay vd chung sdng vdi nhau hanh phiic
thay vi la phai chia tay nhau. Dieu dd cho thiy, each giai quylt mdu thuan vg ch^ng ngudi
dan tgc Co Ho khdng phai chi la mgt vide don gian ma nd mang d$m net vdn hda ciia cpng
ddng, tpc ngudi noi day. Bdi vi, luat tyc cua cgng ddng da quy djnh la nhu the.
6. Kk lu^n
Ket qua phan tich cho thiy cdc giai do^in thudng xay ra mdu thuan vg chdng ngudi
ddn tpc Co Ho d Lam Ddng. Ngudn goc sdu xa ciia su nay sinh vin dd gay ndn mdu thuin
vg chong cd lidn quan ddn van hda, ldi sdng cila c$ng dong. Qua day, tac gia da nhdn thay
cd sy da dang ttong cac vin dd gdy ndn mdu thuan vg ch6ng. Trong dd, n6i bdt nhit la
nguyen nhdn do thdi xau cua vg/chdng trong an d hang ngay, thidu trach nhidm trong
ddng gdp kinh te hay la do bj ddnh dap, chiri nia, de dga. Tuy nhien, miic dd xdy ra mdu
thuin vg chdng cilng khdng thudng xuyen ma chii ydu tdp trung d raiic dp vai thdng m§t
lln. Hinh thiic bidu hien chii ydu la bdng hinh thiic ldi ndi nhu la cai nhau/tranh ludn,
mdng chiii va dpa danh ddp id pho biln. Cdn doi vdi hinh thiic hanh ddng thi biiu hi$n
nhu la im lang/khdng ndi chuydn vdi nhau, ddp phd do dac, danh dap nhau, danh dap con
cai vd udng bia, rugu/danh bdi la chii ylu.
Cach thiic giai quylt mdu thuan vg chong cua ngudi ddn tpc Co Ho chu ylu la vg
chdng vira tu gidi quyet mdu thuan vd vira cimg vdi nhirng ngudi khac giai quylt mau
thuan. Hinh thiic giai quylt bdng ldi ndi la chii ylu. Ddi vdi hinh thiic vg chdng ty giai
quylt mau thuan thi hg se gidi quylt bdng ldi xin l§i, gidi thich, gdp ^ hay la im IJng/dl Idu
rdi bd qua. Gia dinh va hg hang la tham gia vao vi$c giai quylt mau thuan nhidu nhit vd
dupc danh gia cd vai ttd quan trgng trong gidi quylt mdu thuan vg chong. Cdch thiic ma hp
sd dyng dl giai quylt mau thuan chu ylu la phdn tich, khuyen bdo, chia sd, thdng cdm dii

vdi cac cjp vg chdng. Bdn canh dd, Cha xii (ngudi ben nha thd) cung cd vai trd quan trgng


Ddo Thj Hieu, Ngo Vdn Hudn
trong viec gidi quylt mdu thudn vp chdng. Sau khi giai quylt mdu thuan thi mdi quan he
giua vp chdng cd thay ddi tdt hon. Tuy nhien, trong viec gidi quylt mdu thudn cua ngudi
ddn tpc Co Ho cdn chiu sir tac ddng tu luat tuc ciia cdng dong (Ddo Thi Hieu, 2016).
Nghien ciiu ndy cd mpt s6 han chi Id mau nghien cuu nhd, pham vi tai mot dia
phuong va cdch chpn mdu ngau nhien he thing. Ndi dung nghien ciiu dupc gidi han trong
viec tim hieu nguyen nhdn xay ra mdu thuan, hinh thiic bieu hien mdu thudn, cdch thiic
giai quyet mdu thuan vp chdng. Viec tim hiiu vl mdu thuan vp chdng cua ngudi dan tdc
Co Ho cdn dupc tiep tuc md rpng vl dia bdn nghien ciiu, cdch chpn mdu cd tinh dai dien
tdt hon de ldm ro sir cdn thilt cua chii dl nay trong cdc cong trinh nghien ciiu tiep theo.
Tai lieu tham khao
Biii Quang Dung. 2002. Giai quygt xich mich trong nh6m gia dinh: phdc thao tir nhiing ket qua nghien ciiu
djnh tinh. Tap chiXah^i hgc, so 1: 29-35.
Cao Huyen Nga. 1998. Mot s6 k£t qua bu6c diiu quan diSu tra thSm d6 sir xung dgt frong quan h? vg ch6ng
c dia ban Tay Nguyen Tgp chi Tdm ly hgc, so 4.
Ciru Long Giang, Toan Anh. 1974. Vi$t Nam chiin luge • Miin thugng cao nguyen Phy ban ciia cdc ngh^
sy nhiSp anh Nguyin Cao Dam, Nguyin Due Thjnh, TrSn VSn ChSu, Jean Lhuissier. Sdi G6n.
Dew, Jeffrey vd John Dakin. 2011. Financial Disagreements and Marital Conflict Tactics. The Journal of
Financial Therapy, Volume 2, Issue 1: 23 - 42.
Dew, Jeffrey vd Robert Stewart. 2012. A fmancial issue, a relationship issue, or both? Examining the predictors
ofmaritai financial conflict. The Journal of Financial Therapy, Vo\ume 3, \ssm 1:43-61.
Ddo Thi Hieu. 2016. Su/chdc biet trong vi4c gidi quyet mdu thudn vg chdng cUa ngudi ddn t^c Kinh vd ddn
tgc Co Ho. D6 tdi nghien cuu khoa hpc cap truong, Tru6ng Dai hpc Dd Lat.
Le Ngpe Hiing. 2015. Uch swvd ly thuyet Xa hgi hgc.^\hBa\

hoc Quoc gia Ha Npi.


LS Phugng. 1986. Tinh hinh ly hon hien nay vd nguySn nhSn ciia no Tgp chiXd hgi hgc, so 02: 39-45.
Linh Nga Niekdam. 2011. Vdn hoa ddn gian truyin thdng cUa tgc nguai K'Ho.'HxhTYidx^mtn.

HdN^i.

Mai Huy Bich. 2009. Gido trinh Xd hoi hgc Gia dinh. Nxb Dai hpc Qu6c gia Hd Ngi.
Nguyin H6ng Hd. 2010. Nguyen nhan xung dot trong gia dinh du6i g6c dp cu xu vdi b ^ bS, hdng x6m.
Tgp chi Nghien cmi Gia dinh vd Giai, sb 3:2 -12.
Phan Thj Luy6n. 2016. Nguyen nhdn ly hon cua phu nir qua nghien cmi ho so toa dn nhdn ddn. Nxb Tu phdp,
Triin Thi Hiln, 2012. Hon nhan eua nguoi Lach 6 Lam D6ng, trong: Tdy Nguyen dudi goc nhin Nhdn hgc
(V6 Tin Tu ehu bien). Nxb Dai hpc Qu6c gia Thanh ph6 H6 Chi Minh.
Triin Thj Minh Thi. 2011. Ly h6n 6- n6ng thon d6ng bdng song H6ng: quylt djnh cua cd nhan vd tac dpng
ciia eac ylu t6 truyen th6ng, trong Gia dinh nong thon Viet Nam trong thai ky Ddi mdi (Trinh Duy
Luan, Helie Rydstrom vd Wil Burghoom chii bien). Nxb Khoa hpc xd hgi.
Trjnh Thai Quang. 2008. MSu thuan vg ch6ng - Bao l\rc doi vdi phy nil trong gia dinh nong thon, trong Gia
dinh nong thon Vi^t Nam trong thai ky Doi mdi (Trinh Duy Luan, Helle Rydstrom vd Wil
Burghoom chii bien). Nxb Khoa hgc xS hpi, Ha Npi.
Vu Tudn Huy. 2003. Mdu thudn vg chong trong gia dinh vd nhOngyeu to dnh hudng. Nxb Khoa hpc Xd h6i.
Vu Tudn Huy. Thuc trang mdu thudn vg chdng trong gia dinh a nong thon hi^n nay vd nhimg nhdn 16 dnh
hudng (Qua nghien cuu trudng hap tgi xd Lgc Hoa, thdnh pho Nam B(nh, tinh Nam Dinh). Truy
cgp tir
ngdy 22/10/2017