KHUC NGUYEN

Tham do
flNH CACH

NGl/CH Dcn
THt/VIENTINHBiNHTHU^Nj

NHA XUAT BAN VAN HOA THONG TIN


Giung

ta da biet con ngudi Id hinh thitc phdt

trien cao nhat cua sir song tren trdi ddt, Id dong
vat cao cap ducfc xd hoi hda va hinh thdnh

tren

ccf sd lao dong, la chu the cua hoqt dong lich su
xd hoi.
Trong phqm vi rong, con ngudi la ddi
nghien

tuifng

citu cua da sd bo mon khoa hoc, cd tu

nhien Ian xd hoi nhu xd hoi hoc, nhdn loqi
dan toe hoc, sinh ly hoc, y hoc, my hoc...

phqm vi hep,

hoc,
Trong

chi tap thdnh dia vi cua titng cd

nhdn vdi cd nhdn, vdi xd hoi, vdi moi trudng ; tit
do nay sinh hien tucrng tam ly cd nhdn ddc

thii.

Neu nhu ndi y trudc la mot hoc thuyet vk con
ngudi cd he thong hodn chinh,

thi y sau chi Id

hoc van chi dqo cu the ve cuqc song va giao tiep
cua cd nhdn trong xd hoi. Y trudc cho ban

doc

biet ve "cdi gi" va "tqi sao", y sau cho bqn

doc

biet ve "lam sao" vd "nen Idm sao".
Quyen

sdch nay dmrc bien soqn tren ccf s(f


nhdn hoc nghia hep.

Plidn ddu Id tim hieu

con

5


ngudi, quan sift tit be ngoai nhu ngu quan, tdc
tai, hinh dang, tinh cdch, tu the tay, tudng di
' ditng, cdch an mac, Idi ndi, chic viet vd tat cd
nhicng gi lien quan vdi con ngudi nhu tin hieu,
vat the'... Phan tich ham y tam ly vd ddc diim
tinh cdch cua doi phucfng, diin giai the gidi nqi
tam cua doi phucfng, dua ra cdu trd Idi de tham
khdo va lira chon. Phan giua Id su dung con ngudi
thong qua su ddnh gid titng nhdn tdi, gidi thieu
nguyen tac su dung vd muu lucfc dilng ngudi hieu
hieu. Phdn cuoi la cdch lam ngudi, thong qua cdc
chi tiet cuoc song, nhdn mqnh tinh quan trqng
hinh tucfng, can cit cdc hinh tucfng khdc nhau, gidi
thich ham y tdm ly vd ddc diem tinh cdch theo
titng doi tucfng, qua do gidi thieu cdch Idm Idnh
dgo, cap dudi, ban be vd ngudi than the ndo cho
phdi dqo.

pliJn mot


TIM H I E U
TINH C A C H
C O N NGirdi

Quye'n sdch nay chi nham cung cdp nhitng
thong tin di ban doc suy nghi, khong phdi de cdc
ban "rap khudn". Dung y cua chung tdi chi la
nham giiip cho ban doc tim hieu vd thong cam
hcfn vdi ngudi xung quanh, dqt tdi muc dtch cu
xu hda muc.
V
7

6

1


I

DOI NET
DAC TRVNG CUA TINH
CACH CON NGir&l


Tmh each la sii tong help nhflng dac t n i n g
tarn ly, tvfdng doi on dinh trong thai do va hanh
vi thiic te cua con ngifcJi.
M6i ngifdi deu c6 tarn ly k h i the n^y luc the
kia, nay ich ky mai v i tha, cifcJi chvfa xong da

khoc... Chiing difdc s^ng loc, ket can, dan xen
tao thanh tinh each tieu bieu eho mot hang
ngiicJi.
B i l u hien cua tinh cdch \k thdi do doi vdi
thrfe te cuoc song. La mot hien tiidng tarn ly,
qua hoat dong thiic t i l n
diidi sii tkc dong
ciia xa hoi, tfnh cAch cua con ngif^i ngay diidc
hinh thanh ro net. Noi each khac, do la phan
anh qua trinh song va sinh hoat eiia con ngxlcJi.
Nhrf vay, tinh each la ph4n mang y nghia trong
tam ciia ca tinh.

2. Nhom mo td cam xuc: N h i i hitng hcf,
lanh nhcit, xao dong, on dinh, lac quan, tram
udt...
3. Nhom mo ta y chi: Nhif qua quyet,
dit, manh dan, tich cite, tieu cite, vitat kho,
cuoc nita chiing...

do
ho

4. Nhom mo td ly tinh: Nhif Idm can, hbi
hat, dan do, c6 6e mit dac, c6 6c sdng tao, tit
duy nhanh nhqy, hcSp logic...
Tom lai, dii nhan tam moi ngifdi mot khac,
tfnh each ngii^i ddi van eo nhiJng dac tfnh chung.
Cho nen srf tham do, phan tich, tong hcJp, vk
nhan thi!c ve no mang mot y nghia trong dai.


Tinh each c6 ket cau ph\!c tap, bao g6m
nhieu dac triing. Co the khdi qudt qua bon
nhom :
1. Nhom mo ta thai do tir thdn: Nhii hung
dc, hien Idnh, thanh that, gian xdo, hdo phong,
ich ky, khieni ton, tit man...

10

11


1 . D g n g p h d n liet :

Cu the bieu hien nhii sau :
Khuynh

hil&ng khep kin

Loai ngildi nay khong thich giao tiep vdi moi
ngiicJi, CO thai do the? d vdi xung quanh. Thong
thifdng, ho thich cam lang, c6 doc, nhiit nhat.
n

TINH CACH CdA
HOT SO DANG NGVCfl

Mang hai thit tinh cam trdi ngUac


Tuy ho CO hanh vi tron tranh tieu cifc, doi
liic lai to ra tich ciic. Ho viJa xem minh khong
dang mot xu, vrfa danh gia minh cao hdn ngifcJi
khac mot bac.
Dac triing than minh

Nhin chung c6 cam giac gay go, xanh xao,
chan tay thon dai. Neu la ni^ t h i dang ngifcJi
nho be, thifdng la ngilc phang.
Dac trilng Ian

da

Lan da thieu mau, xanh xao, kho, khong
bong, min. Tdi tuoi trung nien, mach mau cho
thai difdng loi len, da hoc lay xitong.
Dac tritng khudn

mat

Net mat ro ret, nhat la nhin ben loi 16m
kha nhieu, miii dai, cam gay, mat bau due ngan.
12

13


Dac trilng toe

i »va -


Ngvtoc vdi ngiidi beo phi, toe ky mot ram
hdn toe ky hai. Toe, m^y ram, vifa eiing vifa
nhieu. Nhat la giiia may, nhieu long td, nhtf
lien nhau. Loai dan ong nay i t khi hoi dau.
2. D g n g t o t b u n g :

Hoan toan ngvfde vdi dang phan liet, bieu
hien cu the nhif sau :
Gioi xa giao
Ctf xi^ than thiet, hien hau, eo long thifdng
va nhiet tinh giup dS ngvfcJi khac. K h i tro chuyen,
thildng tao cho ngiicJi doi dien cam giac ngay
thang, thoai mai, khong go bo. Du eo noi nong
eung i t de bung.
Chu trong thitc te
Khong noi suong, c6 the nhanh chong thich
ling moi hoan canh.
Bqc trilng than hinh
D i i n hinh la beo map. Dau to, c6 ngan va
tron, tay chan ngan, nhat la dau ngon tay tron
va ngan. DifcJng net mat diu dang, ngu quan
ean xiing. Lan da ciia nH rat mem, mat no day.
14

Ddc trilng lan

da

Lan da bong lAng, mku tot, dau mui va ma

Xing do. M s diidi da deu, eo earn giae dinh thit.
Dac tritng khudn

mat

Be ngoai khuon mat tr6n v^ diu, c6 eam
gidc tr6n tria. M u i cii toi. Trdn rong, dau to.
Dac trilng

toe

Da so toe mem, ehan tran nhii l i i i len tren,
chinh giila ni5a v6ng tr6n, hdi hoi, nhiing khong
ro net. Rau ram, moe rat rong, dang ngay ngan,
long tren minh kha nhieu.
3. D a n g n h a t h e t h a o :

Dac t n l n g nhii sau :
Can than ti mi
Loai ngifdi n^y khong chiit cau tha, luon
theo qui tae. Ho song eo tinh nghia, ton trong
dao diJc, trat tif xa hoi, mong song cuoc song
yen on, thiic tai. Ho khong de buong troi ildc
md va tinh toan ciia minh.
Kem an noi
Ho khong gioi diSn dat thai do ban than,
cho ngifdi khae cam giac cham chap. Thife te
15



cung vay, ho lam viec cham hdn ngifcJi khac,
nhiing k h i hao hitng, ho c6 the gay n h i l u bat
ngd.
Co chieu hit&ng bao

thu

Ban tinh can kiem, t i i tifcfng kha bao thu.
Tuy nhien, doi khi hp cung la tien phong cap
tien, diia tat ca site manh tich t u lau ngay boc
phat mot phen, gay nen hau qua kho lifcJng.
Dqc trilng than hinh
Khoe khoan. Neu la nam, than hinh se la
mot tarn gidc ngiWc ly tifcfng, khoe manh ran
chac, ccf bap nay ncf, than hinh can doi, site liic
tran tre.
Dac trilng khudn

mat

Khuon mat noi chung rong, to, dai. M u i dai,
cam dai. Mat hinh bau due dai. Cung c6 khuon
mat phang hoac dau hdi nhon.
Bqc trilng Ian

da

Lan da do skm, da day, chai. Tren mat d^
noi mun, cam giac khong sach.
4. Dang cori mcr, hoat bdt :


Dac tnfng nhil sau :
16

Nhan vat nha ngoqi nha
Hp thifdng CO bau ban vay quanh, neu khong
5 chung vdi dam dong, hp se cam thay buon te.
Phong do dien gid
Co the ciidi noi vui ve thoai mai tnfdc mat
ngiicJi la. Noi chuyen trifdfc dam dong khong he
nhiit nhat, r u t re. Thai dp ung dung, hPi lam
IcJi nhieu chuyen, thich thuyet trinh...
Ngay thang
Hp nghi ra cai gi, du 5 trifcfng hdp nao, deu
noi thang, khong giau giem. Tinh hoc tnfc, khong
chiit quanh co, t r i keo.
Tinh cam manh liet boc phdt
Doi k h i noi tran loi dinh, nhifng lai nhanh
chong quen di.
Giau tinh ngilcfi
Hp v u i long giiip dd ke khac. K h i nghe ngifcJi
ta ke ve cau chuyen bi tham, lap ti!c r i i long
thitdng, khoe chung vdi ngifdi cung canh ngp.
Thieu ben bi
Thieu quan niem sap xep t h i ! tif trifdc sau
nhanh cham khi lam viec, tinh tinh luon xao
dpiig khong dang t i n cay. Khong the quan triet
THI/ ViEM im

BiNH THUAM


17


t\i dau tdi cuoi, phu phiem. Neu cac bieu hien
tren ro ret, se la ngifdi khong c6 trach nhiem.
5. Dang song noi tarn :

Hoan toan trai ngiWc vdi dang ccli mcf, boat
bat, dang song noi tarn, c6 dac trifng nhif sau :
Co doc

H Q ghet dam dong, khong thich giao tiep,
s0 tdi nhiing cupc hop dong ngiicJi. Neu qua cite
doan, ho giau minh vao thap nga, rcJi tap the
ra 5 rieng.
Noi ndng e then

Doi khi CO viec muon noi, lai cit ngap ngiing,
muon to thien cam, lai do mat e then. Khi muon
tho 16 tinh cam vdi ai, ho loay hoay vung ve.
Y thitc tit ve rat

mqnh

Ho CO y thitc tit ve manh liet doi vdi sit kich
thich ngoai lai. Chi mot chuyen con con, dii
khien ho buon phien khong yen.

Co chap v6 cung


Vi k h i chat mem yen, ugitcJi ta c6 cam giac
ho rat CO chap, tham chi ngoan c6, qua nghieng
ve tit ve. Ho khong d i nhan IcJi nidi, khong tuy
tien phu boa y kien dam dong - nhat la doi vdi
sit vat mdi me, ho khang cit manh. Ban kho
thuyet phuc ditdc ho. Thong thitdng cf mot gidi
ban nhat dinh, ho con c6 the thoa hiep, nhitng
neu vitdt qua gidi ban, se kho ma thanh cong.
Biet gin gin tinh

ban

Ho rat kho giao tiep, kho cit xii. Khong de
gi ket ban ngay t\i phut dau, cung khong d%
bieu 16 tinh cam. Nhitng sau mot khoang thdi
gian quen nhau, ban se phat hien, ho c6 trai
tim hien hau va tinh tinh that tha, biet nghi
cho ban, chu dao va te nhi. Ban se phat hien
ra ho CO nhieu itu diem, c6 the duy t r i tinh ban
lau dai sau sac so vdi ngitdi ccii md, hoat bat.

Thieu qua quyet

Kha te nhi, nen luon phien long vdi nhilng
chuyen vat, do dit mai khong the quyet dinh.
18

^


19


1. H a m

Doi mat khoiig nhrfng la cd quan quan trong
cua ccf the con ngifdi, ma con la "cv^a so tam
h6n", phan anh nguyen ven the gidi noi tam
cua mot ngifdi. Du trong cuoc song thifc hoac
trong tac pham van hoc nghe thuat, ngifdi ta
deu rat quan tam va mieu ta ky lif3ng ve no.
Do la v i "doi mat c6 Idi noi that tha hdn cai
mieng".

Ill
HAM

Y Tim

TANG
0

y tam ly cua dnh mat :

CACH

THE

NGirai odi


Anh mat 1^ nguon thong t i n quan trong cho
sii giao tiep gifla ngitcJi va ngvfdi. Anh mat chang
nhiing bieu 16 tinh ban va y doi dich, hanh phiic
v^ dau kho, scJ set va hai hiing... Cac tinh cam
con ngifcJi noi chung, ma trong qua t r i n h giao
tiep t i m hieu, c6 the thong qua anh mat ma di
sau khai thac the gidi noi tam ciia doi phvfdng,
dat tdi muc di'ch xem mat bat hinh dong.
Doi mat khong the che day sit tot xau trong
noi tam. K h i nghe Idi noi, xem cii chi ciia doi
phvfdng, can nhin ky doi mat, se de dang phan
biet that hit.
Manh Ti^ titng bao : "Ngitcfi c6 long ngay
thang t h i doi mat trong sang ; ngitcJi c6 long
x^u xa t h i doi mat van due". Neu ta ap dung
21


nguyen tac d6 v^o viec giao tiep vdi ngddi khac,
thi du trong long doi phiWng c6 gi giau giem,
anh mat deu phan anh nguyen ven. NgvfcJi noi
doi thao thao bat tuyet, nhifng anh mat luon u
am dao dien. Neu khong chii y quan sat, se kho
tim hieu noi tam ciia doi phvfdng.
Ngifdi xita CO 10 each de quan sat va phan
tich anh mat :
1. Tang : thong thifdng tinh than an sau
trong mat, khong de 16 ra ngoai. Chi khi ngoi
yen tinh mot minh, doi mat sang long lanh, nhii
do sang ciia my ngoc linh chau, cho ngiidi nhin

CO cam giac yen tinh, day sit tin titdng. Do la
anh mat ngoai hang. Con ngifcJi c6 anh mat nhif
vay se lam nen nghiep \dn.
2. Lo : 16 CO nghia la anh mat dl 16. Thif^ng
la mat loi, md to tritng trifng nhif dang n6i
gian, dii kh6ng c6 than sac may, ke ca ve mat
va ci5 chi cung nhif vay. Con ngifdi c6 anh mat
nhif vay, tuy giau c6, nhifng la ke gian xao va
tham lam.
3. Tinh : anh mat em diu, trong treo. Nhin
qua CO cam giac diem dam ; quan sat that ky,
va lau, sif yen tinh van nhif xifa. Ngifdi xifa cho
22

rang day la anh mat hien tif, an tifcJng v^ thanh
qui.
4. Cap : anh mat cif dao quanh nhif khi con.
Ngifdi xifa cho rang, mot ngifcJi neu c6 bo dang,
IcJi noi, dang di, an uong, vui buon deu to ra
voi va, CO the sdm lap gia dinh, nhifng de chet
sdm, la anh mat hung.
5. Oai : to ra oai nghiem du khong n6i gian.
Mat dai v^ to, du mcl hay nham, deu c6 khi
the. Gap chuyen vui hay chuyen buon deu khong
to ra qua kich dong. Anh mat nay cho ngifdi
khac cam giac uy nghi ma ne sd. Ngifdi c6 anh
mat nay, hoac la ke xau, hoac la ngifdi tot noi
bat.
6. Hon : d6i mat to nhifng khong sdng, thieu
phan minh, dd din. Anh mat do dif bao sif ngheo

nan, de tien, lam viec gi deu khong xong, khong
ket qua tot.
7. Hba : anh mat tif nhien, tifdi sang, la con
ngifdi diem dam hien ho a, khong vui ma ci! nhif
vui. Dii khi sac gian hdn, vin c6 sac tifdi, nhin
tiut xa vIn cam thay hoa nha. Ngifdi c6 anh mat
nhif vay la loai ngifdi c6 tam long rong rai,
khong ganh ti, khong thien vi.
CO

23


8. Kinh : than sac sd set nhvf gap chuyen
hai hiing. Than khi hion bien doi, mat thieu
sang, thieu on dinh. Mieng map may, di ditng
an ngii luon nhif sd set bat an. Loai ngiicii nay
lam viec gi deu thieu kien t r i , kho thanh cong.
9. Tuy : anh mat ciia ngifdi say riWu. Trong
mat lay chuyen cham chap, nhii benh lau khong
khoi, ngu me chifa thvtc, than k h i me muoi. Loai
ngifdi nay ngu dot, d l ngo doc m ^ chet.
10. Thodt : nhil ngildi go, dii ngoi an uong,
van thieu than khi. Dang noi chuyen nay, tam
chi lai chuyen sang viec khac, nhif mot cai xac
khong hon. Chet vi benh dien cuong.
0 day ta khong can phan tich each noi me
t i n cua ngifdi xita, nhifng chi i t ta b i l t ditcJc anh
mat trong tac dung xi^ the h dc?i, da dildc con
ngildi lifu y tif thud xa xita.

Vay t h i tiJng anh mat cu the se c6 nhifng
ham y tam ly khi giao tiep, lam quen hoac dam
phan dau tranh ? Ban lam sao nhin qua anh
mat, ma thau hieu difcJc the gidi noi tam cua
d6i phifctog ?
Cac phan tich difdi day se giiip ban hieu
mot each khai quat.
24

- Nhin cham chii

Thong thifdng, trong qua trinh giao tiep,
nhin nhau hdn 5 phiit t h i goi la nhin cham ehu.
No ehiia y nghia doi dich tham k i n . Cho nen
da s6 ngilcJi tranh nhin nhau nhif vay de to ve
khiem nhvfcJng. Nhin cham chii doi k h i c6n to
ra yeu eau giiip dd. Trong trvfdng hdp nhif vay,
chi nham quan sat tam nhin ciia doi phiidng.
K h i dam phan, ngifdi ta thildng khong nhin
nhau cham chii. Neu doi phildng chon each nay,
h^m y tam ly nhvf sau :
Til khep kin
Anh mat cham chii nhin tren mot diem nao
do, gan nhii c6 dinh, bap thit gifcfng mat citng
dd, khong tinh cam, nhit deo mat na, khong c6
phan itng vdi sit viec xung quanh.
Tit the Men
Neu nhii ban va doi thu gap nhau Ian dau,
ma doi phiidng thich nhin cham chii v^o mat
ban roi ciidi noi vui ve, noi len anh ta dang de

phong eanh giae vdi ban. Doi phiidng to ve liu
Viet hdn ban, nham suy doan trang thai tam ly
ciia ban.
25


TU phong

ve

' --

slrJ

N e u doi phvWng n h i n ban hoi l a u , khong ne
t r a n h a n h m a t cua ban, y c6 y do tao sii de
phong de doi pho vdi svf t a n cong cua ban. A n h
ta luon sd h i ba n l a m h a i , d i i ban da c6 gang
to r a CO t h a n h y. K h i giao tiep vdi loai ngifcfi
n h i l vay, p h a i chii y cii chi cua m i n h , dijfng de
dang d i 16 nhildc diem, t r a n h h i doi phiidng
xem thiidng. Dijfng mong c6 diWc cam giac quen
t h a n vdi loai ngiidi nay.
N6i long km

Tim

ra nhiiac

diem


'''^

N h i n cham chii con dong vai " t r i n h sat" t r o n g
qua t r i n h giao tiep. T r o n g t h i M n g trifdng, vdi
c^i n h i n cham chii ciia doi phiWng, m o t la doan
bat t a m ly b a n , h a i la n h a m t i m ra nhifcfc diem
cua ban de t a n c6ng. V i d u : ngifdi canh sat k h i
t h a m van ke t i n h n g h i thifdng n h i n vao d6i m a t
ke ay, n h a m tao r a ap life pha vd t a m l y de
ph6ng cua ban. Day la ly do t a i sao t a cam thay
kho c h i u k h i b i ngifdi khac n h i n cham cham.

ddo

N e u doi phiWng n h i n ban k h i noi, c6 nghia

- Nhin Id la

1^ a n h ta da c6 t h i e n cam vdi ban va c6 y muon

C h i a n h m a t lay dong b a t d i n h , k h i e n ngifdi

giao l i i u tiep tvic. K h i n h i n cham cham khong

khac kho c h i u , nay s i n h t a m ly de phong. N h i f n g

r d i xa, c6 le m u 6 n tho 16 t a m sii vdi ban. C h i i

doi luc, cai n h i n do do site ep ciia doi phifdng


y : neu h a i ngiidi deu la m3, t h i r a t c6 th6 la

gay nen.

c6 t a k h o n g m u o n cho ban biet t a m sii ciia c6
ay.

Khong
Bay dc y

CO y tot

K h i doi phifdng n h i n ban vdi a n h m a t k h i

D6i liic, cai n h i n cham chu day ac y, cung

Id la, liic lay dong, eo the k h a n g d i n h h a n dang

1^ nguyen n h a n ma da so ngitdi k h 6 n g muon

CO mifu do gi do. N h i l n g ngifdi tiep t h i h a n g

doi dien vdi a n h m a t nhvf vay. B a n k e t hdp vdi

hoa, vifa dao m a t n h i n b a n , vifa thao thao khoe

cac bieu hien khac cua d6i phitong, se d6 dang

khoang, ban p h a i can t h a n va chii y chat lifdng,


n h a n biet h a m y th^c sif la gi.

gia ca hang cho ky.

26

27


Noi trdi v&i long

'ViV.

•»

V

Anh mat Id la, Idi noi ap ilng, cho thay doi
phitong dang noi doi, khong mu6n de ban doan
difdc tam ly cua ban. N l u doi phitong la ngifcJi
hdp tac hoac khach bang ciia ban, hay chii y
nbanh chong cham di!t quan he lam an, neu
khong de sinb nguy cd bi gat.
Nong ruot
Doi liic, anh mat Id la bieu hien sot ruot,
bat an ve noi tam. Bo dang ciia ho c6 ve nhil
ngifdi diing ngoi khong yen.
Thay long doi


dq

Khi ban luan mot so van de nghiem tiic (nhii
dam cifdi...) girfa hai ngiidi yen nhau, doi phifdng
CO anh mat Id la, chac chan ngvtdi do dang mang
mot bau tam sif bat Idi vdi ngitdi yeu. Neu bo
qua Anh mat do, de tiep tuc phat trien, kho
tranh hi ton thifdng.
- Nhin md mang
mot anh mat phitc tap, khong c6 tinh
cam, khien ngifdi ta c6 cam giac trong rong,
kho do.
Ham y nhil sau :
28

Mac ke sit ton tqi ciio doi

phifxMg

Bat man trong long
Svf bat man va bvfc tifc doi vdi ban, ciing
khien doi phifdng c6 anh mat tvfdng t\i. V i du :
Khi doi ban trai gai von khong c6 mau thu^n,
d6t nhien c6 xich mich, tuy ve mat ho v i n giii
y§n, nhifng anh mat md mang that than, hoc
16 ro tam trang bat man va khong yen.
Tinh tinh nhu

nhiMc


Dii bat cit trong tam trang nao, ho deu c6
dnh mat md mang, v i ho khong muon bi ngiidi
khac nhan biet diem yeu ciia minh, danh phai
lam ra ve nhif van dang ton tai.
Sit nhan nqi da t&i cite hqn
K h i hai ngifdi xay ra xung dot, mot ben to
ve hung ho ham doa, ben kia thildng c6 anh
mat md mang, ban ditng lam titdng ben kia
mem yeu d§ an hiep. Trai lai, ban dang d trang
thai nhan nai cite diem, sap sifa bung no cdn
gian hoac dang chd thdi cd de tan cong. Neu
ben kia cit tiep tuc tien tdi, doi phifdng chac
chan t i m each chong tra. Ngifdi c6 anh mat md
mang doi k h i cung nguy hiem.
29


Tram tit

.

-

4

Khi tram tvi, moi ngiicJi c6 dang ve khac
nhau, CO ngifdi nham mat, c6 ngitdi Ic? dd, c6
ngifdi CO cai nhin md mang. Khi ay, bo 6c dang
hoat dong het site, chi khong mu6n de 16 ra
ngoai m^ thoi. Chd khi suy nghi chin mui, anh

mat se c6 than sac.
- Ne tranh cai nhin.
Chiing ta biet rang, tiep xuc cai nhin la
nguon thong tin quan trong khi tim hieu vdi
nhau thong qua Idi noi. No cho biet miic do
thich thii vdi cau noi girfa doi ben. Ngiidi ta c6
the thong qua cai nhin m^ cam nhan dvWc yeu
thich, ghet bo ciia doi phitong. Nhilng h mot so
tnldng hdp, CO so ngifdi chu dong ne tranh cai
nhin nhtf vay. Svf lay chuyen anh mat phan anh
hoat dong noi tam ciia con ngifdi, chi can l\lu
y, CO the tim thay nhieu dieu chan that ma ban
can biet. Lay chuyen anh mat cung thitdng gap
nhvf khi dita tin xau hoac ke lai chuyen dau
kho ; CO khi vi mac cd, sd hai, tham chi noi doi.
Ham y tam ly nhvf sau :
Tii khep kin

Neu doi phifcfng ne tranh anh mat ban mot
each kheo leo, cho thay han c6 trcl ngai ve tam

1^. Han khong nhin thang ban, chang nhvfng vi
han khong muon nhin th^y ban, hdn mJa han
cung khong muon de ban nhin thay. Do la loai
ngitdi khep kin.
Bao ve rieng til

Ta thifdng phat hien hien tildng vui nhif
sau : hai ngitdi khong quen, khi ngau nhien
trao nhau anh mat, lap tiic rdi xa, chd khong

nhin thang. Do la vi hai ben khong muon cho
doi phifdng biet ve noi tam, c6 tim each bao ve
chuyen rieng tif.
To ra thich thii

Trong giao tiep, doi khi vi muon lam quen
vdi doi phvWng, nhifng lai khong muon de doi
phildng hieu difdc sb thich ciia minh, thifdng
chon each trao doi cho nhau anh mat trong giay
lat roi lap tiJc ne tranh. Nhif mot c6 gai xinh
dep xuat hien tntdc dam dong, moi ngitdi deu
nhin tap trung vao c6 ay, nhifng c6 so dan ong
thich chon each nhin mot Ian that ky, roi quay
sang ndi khac. Chang le so dan ong do khong
thich thii CO gai do if ? Khong phai. That la ho
rat thich thii, nhifng chi c6 de nen ma thoi. Khi
xung quanh ban xuat hien hien tifcJng tifdng tif,
31


xin hay quan sat ky each bieu hien ciia dan
ong, ban se hieu, hoa ra han dang nhin "trom"
lia lia vao c6 gai ay.
Gay chu y
Neu tranh anh mat doi phvfdng, to ve nhif
binh than trong trvfcfng hdp xa giao, chi la meo
muon gay chii y ma thoi.
Tinh tinh chu dong
Khi tro chuyen xa giao, ngifdi lay chuyen
c^i nhin triidc tien, tinh tinh tiidng doi chu

dong. Co ngitcJi muon minh cl vao vi tri vifdt
troi, cung c6 hanh dong tifdng tii. Thong thvfcJng,
ngitdi lay chuyin anh mat tntdc khi tro chuyen,
la ke thang Idi ve tam ly, vi ho da tao ap liic
tam ly vdi doi phiidng (doi phifdng xem thiicJng
minh if, hoac khong hcJp vdi nhau il ?).
Tritdng hdp can phai don ti4p nhiJng ke
khong tap trung cai nhin ngay Ian dau gap mat,
phai rat cin than, tranh pham sai lam va tao
ap litc tam ly khong can thiet. Vi du : Khi hai
ngifcfi xem mat Ian dau, neu phia nii ne tranh
cai nhin ciia phia nam, du vdi ly do e le, van
khien phia nam cam thay kho chiu, nhx anh la
ke song noi tam, chac chan se nghi rang : c6
32

ta khong them nhin minh, minh lam sao lay
dtWc long
cii the khien ci5 chi ciing mat
ttf nhien, hai ngifcTi kho long lam ban.
Ho then trong long
Liic xa giao, neu ne tranh cai nhin trong
tinh hu6ng diidc chii y, rat c6 the diidng sii ho
then trong long, sd bi lat tay - vi anh mat lam
boc 16 noi tam. Cho nen, diia tre pham sai lam
thiidng ne tranh anh mat phu huynh, ciii dau
yen lang.
Mac cam
Nlu doi phifc?ng "mac ke" thong tin dila ra
ivi anh mat ban, cho thay anh ta hoac la ke tii

cao tif dai, hoac 1^ ke can than ky lifdng. Loai
ngiidi nay thildng c6 mac cam nang ne, can
nhieu thdi gian tim hieu, dtjfng nen voi phan
xet ho.
Bat man v&i hien trang
Triidc khi ban d^it Idi, anh mat doi phiidng
da ne tranh di ndi khac, dieu nay ham y : "Toi
khong tan thanh cau noi ciia ban". Neu la phai
nii CO quan he quen than, nhin ban mot liic roi
ne sang ch6 khac, ban drfng hieu lam c6 ay mac
ke sii ton tai ciia ban, ma chfnh vi c6 muon
CO...,

33


ban h i l u diWc pham chat cua c6. Phdi ntt c6
b i i u hien nhif vay thiicJng bat man vdi hien
trang.
- Nhin lap lanh
Anh mat lay dong bat dinh, luc sang luc toi
la anh mat nguy h i i m . Do la luc doi philcJng
doi dich hoac nghi ngcJ ban. Nhin ttf goc do sinh
ly, do la do mi mat xup xuong. Ham y nhii sau :
Nghi ngcf, hieu

lam

Gap ngifcJi c6 anh mat lap lanh, Idi noi va
viec lam ciia ban phai cu the, ro r^ng, may ra

mdi tranh dvfcfc sit hieu lam va nghi ngcJ ciia y.
Dang cdnh gidc

dich

Neu anh mat lap lanh dfl doi, c6 t h i khang
dinh sii hieu lam, nghi ngd ciia han da tdi liic
phdt gian.
34

- Liidt n h i n
Anh mat lildt nhanh xung quanh, i t nhieu
lam ngifcJi khac kho chiu. Ham y nhif sau :
the nqt ngiicfi
Day 1^ anh mat thii^ng thay h nhiJng ngiicJi
c6 dia v i cao trong xa hoi. Ho hi&i nhin nhii
vay, mot la ra ve tif each, hoc thilc, tien tai hdn
ngildi. Dich cua cdi nhin la tao uy the bao t n i m
len doi philctog.
Tim sil bao ve

NgtfcJi Ian dau tien gap mat c6 anh mat nhvf
vky doi vdi ban, cho thay dang het siJc canh
giac, hoac da nay sinh each nhin sai ve ban.
Luc nay ban nen t i m edeh dieu chinh cvL chi
h^nh v i , chii y ve mat doi phiicfng tien trien ra
sao.
Tam trqng doi

Ban phai het si!e chii y, hoa giai cdn gian

cua doi phiidng bang c\i chi IcJi noi thieh hdp,
tranh gay phien toai khong can thiet.

Doi \di nhiing ke song noi tam hoac nhu
nhifcJc, k h i
dung cai nhin liidt qua, c6 y cau
c^u sif bao ve. Ho khong muon tam sif hi doi
phifdng hieu difde, lai khong biet chon each bao
ve khac, nen khong muon c6 dinh cai nhin ; ci!
nhif dita tre pham 16i, liic nhin cha, liic nhin
me.
Suy dodn doi phitcfng
K h i doi phifdng giao tiep vdi ban, ma ^nh
mat cii lifdt qua liidt lai, chac han dang suy
35


doan ban c6 each n h i n , each n g h i ve han ra sao.
Hoae mong t i m difdc cai gi do de chon h a n h
dong tvfdng ving.

G i i i a ngvfdi khac p h a i , neu c6 a n h m a t nhvf
cho biet doi phitong

t h i c h ban. T h i i d n g la phai nrt n h i n p h a i n a m .

Doi t r o n g Hec ve mot ben m a t de n h i n . A n h
m a t liec n h i n to t a m ly t i f choi, k h i n h k h i , bat
m a n hoac t h i c h t h i i . Da so t i n h huong cho thay,
liec n h i n la Anh m a t t h i e u ton trong. Ngifdi c6

cai n h i n nhtf vay t h i l d n g la ke t i i cao hoac mang
t a m ly sd h a i - Da so la p h u n i i .

Cho nen, liec m a t cung la each noi len " t i n h y "
khong Icfi.

- Nhay

mat

N h a y m a t la dong tac lien tuc n h a m mcl cua
m a t , t a m l y hoc goi do la "hien ttfdng co giat",
1^ h a n h v i k h o n g IcJi, noi len noi t a m . N e u nhay
m a t v d i so Ian qua day, t h i 1^ bieu hien ve t h a n

H a m y nhif sau :

kinh.

khi

H a m y n h i f sau :

N e u doi phitcfng c6 cai n h i n n h i l vay k h i giao
tiep, chac chac da nay sinh t a m l y choi ti5 va
k h i n h k h i doi vdi ban v i mot nguyen nhan nao
do. N e u ban c i ! mac ke, t h i kho duy t r i h i ! u
n g h i , t h a m chi gay kho k h a n cho viec t i m h i e u
ve sau. T o m l a i , khong the bo qua cai n h i n ay.
Bat


thu

vdy, cong t h e m n u ciM,

- L i e c nhin

Choi til ua khinh

Thich

Trong

Doi k h i doi phiWng to ve bat m a n , k h i n h
k h i . N e u ban t r a dua bang a n h m a t tildng t\i,
d6 dan t d i x u n g dot trvfc dien, l a m to chuyen.
36

an

Ngifcfi thifcfng nhay m a t , n h a t 1^ nrf, cho biet
noi t a m dang t h i e u cam giac an toan - N h a t la
p h u nrf Idn len t r o n g hoan canh gia d i n h k h o n g
tot, ci5 chi t h i e u tii chu do cang t h e m ro net.
Xeni

man

long bat


niinh la

chinh

Ngifdi p h u niJ thifcJng nhay m a t , la ngifdi
t h i c h dat m i n h 6 v i t r i t a m l y , y thitc tvf t h a n
r a t m a n h . Doi v d i dan ong, t h i p h a i nvL nhxi vay
r a t kho i ! n g pho.
37

1

i
I


2 . H d m y t d m 1/ q u a net m a y :

Co the khang dinh rang, moi ci3 dong ciia
long may, deu dai dien cho mot th\ tinh cam
nhat dinh. Ddng ve cua long m^y se thay doi
tiiy theo tam trang. Theo cac nha tam ly, long
m^y gom hdn 20 trang thai, vdi nhflng ham y
khac nhau :
- Nhiu may
Hai long may co gan lai vdi nhau, diem giiia
2 dau long may xuat hien nhiJng nep nhan ngan
va thang.
Ham y nhtf sau :
Au


sau

La loai ngifdi c6 tam ly lo au va ifu sau, rat
mong thoat khoi hoan canh tnidc mat, nhvfng
lai khong nhit y.
Phong ngii
Thong thifdng ngilcJi ta c6n cho nhiu may
tieu bieu cho toan tinh tan cong. Thilc ra chi
diing mot ni^a. Tvf the n^y con tieu bieu viec lo
toan bao ve mat k h i tnic dien vdi sil phan cong
v^ t i m each ph6ng ngii can thiet.
38

- Gitfdng may
Hai long may giiidng len, hdi chech ve hai
bSn, khien Ian da triidc tran di dong len tren^
tao ra nep nhan d^i song song.
y
Ham y nhif sau :
Dang CO ilu the
K h i mot ngifcfi dang nam l i u the, muon dvfa
v^o do tao site ep cho doi phifcfng, thii^ng c6 trf
the giiicfng may.
/
Tam trang vui ve
Ngifdi ta thtfcJng giiidng may k h i trong long
vui tiidi, con goi la "ncf may, nd mat".
Chef thcfi c(f
Ngiidi mang tinh xam lildc, lai lo lang sii

tan cong cua minh khong dilcJc hieu qua, hoac
nhin khong ro dieu doi phifctag uy hiep, muon
tim hieu v^ nhin ro hoan canh hdn, chef ddi thSi
cd thich hcfp.
- Nhan may
Doi may co lai va giiicfng cao, tao nen nep
nhan giiJa may.
Ham y nhii sau :
39


Buon phien itu uat

- Mau sac

Neu khong phai do dau ddn benh tat, thi
G ^ c chan 1^ c6 ifu tif buon biic trong long.
may hdn

h5

Doi mky lay dong, giildng len ha xuong. La
dpng tac d i l n x a nhanh chong, neu khong quan
sat ky se kho phat hien.
Ham y nhvf sau .
Tam trang phan chan\^
Khi nhan diWc tin phan khdi, se c6 tif the
nhii vay, c6n goi la rang rd net m ^ .
3. Ham y tdm ly v d tmh each cua i?iui :
\


Mui CO ft dong tac, nhifng d^ng ve lai da
dang nhat trong cac cd quan tren khuon mat.
Nhxl vay, mui c6 tac dung nhif the nao trong
t i m hieu giao tiep vdi moi ngiidi ? Lam the nao
thong qua sii thay doi nho nhoi cua mui va
quan sat diidc tam trang doi phifdng ?
Mui phan anh tam trang con ngilcfi ra sao ?
Theo phan tfch khoa hoc, thi c6 cac bieu hien
nhii sau :
40

Mau sac cua mui i t bien doi. Ngoai chiu tac
d6ng bcli nhiet dp ben ngoai (nhif nong lanh
kfch thich khien mtii bi do), khi mui c6 mku
trang bech, c6 ham y ra sao ?
Tam trang cdng thdng
Mot so ngifcJi k h i c6 tam trang cang thang,
hoac chuan bi ra mot quyet dinh quan trong gi
d6, CO thay doi ve mau mui, mui trd nen trang
bech. Dieu ay noi len tam trang lo sd ngap
ngCfng.
Do dit
Neu doi phifPng la khach hang cua ban, sii
thay doi do cho thay anh ay dang trong tam
trang do dit thieu diJt khodt.
Lbng tit trong bi ton thiicfng
Doi liic vi long tif trong bi ton thildng, trong
long day ngd vifc, pha chiit cam giac tpi 16i va
bat an, mau mui ciing trb nen trang bech.

- Nof mui
That ra 1^ md canh m u i , do hdi thcl phap
phong tao nen.
41


H£lm ^ nhtf sau :

Ndi long thani kin

Nong gian

N e u doi phifoYig khong c6 quan he Idi i c h

va scf hai :

K h i t r o chuyen, canh m i i i d6i phildng ncl r a ,
cho t h a y tarn t r a n g b a t m a n va gian dfl ciia
h a n doi vcfi ban.

"••

vdi b a n , m a c6 t r a n g t h a i t r e n , h a m y a n h t a
dang b i Ivfdng t a m can r i t t , hoac c6 n 6 i long
rieng n e n to r a cang thang.

Di/cfng dilcfng til dac :
Co k h i nS m u i bieu hien t a m t r a n g dac y
cua m o t ngifdi. Do t a m t r a n g phan khcli va cang
t h a n g , ho hap va n h i p t i m tang len, t i m dap

m a n h , canh m u i nb r a khep l a i . S i i thay doi do
la dac y hay bat m a n , gian dvi, t h i p h a i can cit
noi d u n g cau chuyen va cac phan i ! n g khac ma
p h a n doan.

- R a mo hoi ndi m u i
Day la m o t h i e n t i l d n g s i n h l y k h a thong
thifcfng. Ngay thvfdng, neu d a u m u i de r a mo
hoi, t h i chang noi len g i ca. T r a i l a i , chi r a mo
hoi vao tnicfng hdp nao do, c6 h a m y n h i l sau :
Lo Idng va cang

thang

K h i doi phiWng l a doi t h i i buon b a n cua b a n ,
t h i ro r a n g la dac t r i f n g ciia t a m t r a n g lo ^ u
cang t h a n g . V i h a n lo sd d a n h m a t cd hoi hoac
b i t h i e t h a i khong can t h i e t .

42

43


1. Ham y tarn iy q u a t v the ngoi vd each
chon cho ngoi :

IV
HAM Y TjNH CACH
QUA Tir THE SINH HO AT


Trong tnfdng hdp xa giao, mot ttf the ngoi
tot, phan anh dien mao tinh than tot ciia mot
con ngitdi. Tuc ngii c6 can : "Di c6 tifdng di,
ng6i CO tildng ngoi". Sil chon liia ch6 ngoi cung
c6 tdc dung phan anh txidng trf. Thong qua sii
phan tich ve titdng ngoi va each chon cho ngoi,
chiing ta c6 the hieu diidc tam ly doi phiidng
va thai do ciia doi phildng doi vdi ban.
- Mot chan venh tren ghe
Day la mot t i i the ngoi thieu 1§ phep, ti!c
mot chan tiia tren san, mot chan venh tren tay
vin vao ghe, cho thay ngvfcJi ngoi :

Th(f a
Ngiidi ngoi vdi t i l the nay c6 tam ly the? d,
ho khong de mat den doi philcfng, nhii c6 ve
muon noi : "Ta doi xu! vdi m i nhif vay do, mi
lam gi difdc n^o !"
Chan ngay
Doi k h i day la tif the to ve chan ngay hoac
chan ghet doi phitdng. K h i doi phiWng khong
thich cuoc vieng tham hoac each an noi ciia ban
45


nhiing khong tien n6i ra, se chpn lay tvt the
that l l nhii vay - mong ban hieu y, nhanh chong
ra ve.


%

TvLc la keo mot chan ve phfa trong, d i c6
chan gac len dau goi chan kia, tao nen hinh

- N go i n h i f cxidi

l e n ghe

Tilc la khong ngoi dang hoang,

s6 4.
quay

ngvfdc ghe lai, de tifa liing hrfdng ra phia tnldc,
doi chan dang ra, ngoi ciiSi len ghe. H^m y tam
ly nhil sau :
Hanh

dong

hanh vi doi phtfdng

ve nay mot each khong trf gidc. Mong bien thu
dong thanh chu dong, chuyen the yeu qua the
manh.
la tren

het


NgiicJi quen ngoi vdi tif the nay, la ke xem
minh la tren het, rat kho giao tiep.
Khong

trqng

tranh

dua

Tif the thiidng xuat hien trong cuoc trao doi
mat doi mat. No cho biet mot thai do va tam
hinh tam giac nhon chia vao doi phildng, khien

uy hiep tdi minh, da chon lay hanh dong phong

Minh

Tam

trang tranh dua. V i tif the n^y tao nen mot
til bao ve

K h i cam thay W\i

Ca

- TvL the h i n h so 4

cau ne


tinh ciia ngifcJi ngoi theo til the nay

doi phiidng chiu ap dao ve tam ly.
Tin

hieu phong

ve

K h i hi doi phiidng uy hiep trong liic xa giao,
tiem thiic hay y thiic deu nhac nhJb minh phai
CO phong ngif va phan cong. C a i chan gicf ra
chfnh la tin hieu phan cong. Cho nen, tif the
n^y la tin hieu phong ve cua ngvfcJi diidng sif
khi tien hanh canh tranh va doi khang vdi doi
phiidng.
Tu tilcfng xcf citng

thitdng khong cau ne. Ho mong dilng tvf the

Co ngitcfi ngoai tii the tren, con them mot

binh di va khong 1^ phep nay, de keo gan khoang

dong tac "gia c6", ti!c la dung mot hoac hai tay

each doi ben, tao moi tnfcJng trao doi vui ve va

bdm vao bap ve cua chan. Cho thay tii tifcTng


thoai mai.

c6 chap v^ xd cihig.

46

47


- Ngoi ngay ngan

ttfcing v d i yeu cau cua b a n hoac v d i s\ viec dang

Ngoi ngay ngan, m a t n h i n t h a n g phia tnidc.

b^n.

Day la mot tif the toan my.
Yeu cau toan

my

theo dieu tot dep. Ho chi l a m nhr^ng viec n h a m
chac phan t h a n g , khong mao hiem.
tinh hien

cam

N e u ngoi vdi ve m a t g i a n dtf. H ^ m ^ h a n


Ngvfdi CO t i f the nay chu t r o n g thiic te, chay

Tinh

To ve dc

hqu

T h i e u t i n h t h a n sang tao t r o n g cong viec va

dang ac cam ve ban va g i a n b a n l a m .

- Ngoi C O rxit
R i i t m i n h t r o n g ghe, doi t a y kep t r o n g cap
diii.

t i n h l i n h hoat k h i xa giao, nhifng c6 long thiitfng

Thiku

ngildi, la ngiicJi don h a u .

Ngvfdi CO t i l the ngoi n h i f vay r a t mac cam,

- Ngoi sau trong ghe
Ti!c la t h a n ngoi t h a t sau t r o n g ghe, l i i n g
t h a n g . Day 1^ tif the ngoi n h a m bieu h i e n lin
the t a m ly vdi doi phvWng.
Nam


chac phan

thang

N e u doi phifdng vita c6 t i i the n ^ y , viJa nb
n u cvidi, cho biet ngifcJi do dang n a m chac p h a n
t h a n g vcfi cong viec sap t i l n h a n h .
Rat

hy

vqng

tU tin

t h i e u t i i t i n , 1^ dang phuc t i i n g . T u y t i n h i e u
trao doi cua ho c6 ve k h i e m t o n , n h i f n g h ^ m y
t a m ly cho t h a y ho t h i e u n i e m t i n , e t h e n , td
ph6ng ve m a n h .

- Ngoi ne qua mot ben
Ti!c 1^ ngoi ne m i n h qua m o t ben ghe.
Tinh

cam

boc 16 ra

ngoai.


Day la loai ngifdi t h i c h hoc 16 t i n h cam yk
k h o n g cau ne. Ho cho r a n g chi can cam t h a y

N e u ttf the nay k e m vdi ve m a t kho k h a n ,

thoai m d i , k h o n g can n g h i ngdi, se de l a i an

cho biet ngifcJi do dang t h a t vong hoac m a t t i n

tifdng gi do. Thong thitcJng m ^ n o i , loai ngifdi

48

49


n^y de giao t i e p , tiec r a n g ho thifdng de l a i an
tifdng la ngifSi ich k y vdi d6i phifdng.

Cam gidc itu viet
K h i xa giao, t i l the cho b i l t difdng s i l dang

- Buong rong chan tay

gitj mot cam giac i l u v i e t hoac uy quyen. Thong

K h i ngoi c6 gang chiem n h i e u cho t r o n g , t u y

thiidng, gidi n i l cua m o t so nifdc, n h a t 1^ gidi


t i e n dvfa dang doi chan, la m o t t i f the ngoi t h d

CO giao due, thifdng t h i c h chon t i f the ngoi nhif

d vdi phep tac.

vay.

Thich

Tam ly chan

chi phoi ngilcri khdc

Ho t h i i d n g CO nang k h i e u chi h u y , nen t h i c h
chi phoi ke khac.
ni

T i l the ngoi nay c6 the la ngifdi song noi
t a m , k h o n g biet t r d i d a t la g i hoac la ngiidi
k h o n g cau ne.

Co t h i k h a n g d i n h r a n g , doi phifdng dang c6
t a m t r a n g t i e u c^c ve I d i noi ciia ban.
Hanh

vi vUcft quyen

Yi day la t i f the ngoi vdi t a m l y i f u v i e t , nen

due

N e u 1^ dan ong doi vdi dan ba, ngu y k h e u
gdi ; neu ngridc l a i , cho biet c6 ay t h i e u k i n h
n g h i e m ve t i n h due. T o m l a i day la mot t i l the
k h i e m n h a , kho coi.

- H a i c h a n vat cheo
Day la t i f the thitdng gap, tite mot chan t i l y
f bat len chan k i a . H a m y r a t phong p h i i :

50

N e u ngifdi CO t i l the nay kfem theo k h o a n h
tay, cho t h a y t a m l y k h o n g v u i v^ chdn chifdng.

Song noi tarn, khong cau

Hdm y ve tinh

chiiifng

thifdng p h a t s i n h cl ngifdi la cap t r e n , ngifdi Idn
tuoi. N e u p h a t s i n h ngildc l a i , se la h a n h v i
"vifdt quyen".

- Gac c h a n len b a n
Khong

le


phep

T i l cho m i n h cao hdn ngifdi kh^c, hoac 1^
ngifdi t i l t i n qua dang, d u sao do cung l a t i f the
khong l l phep.

51